Love Debt
I was listening to a message by Voddie Baucham tonight. It is a sermon called, "Love Debt". During the message, I was convicted of a sin I have ignored or somehow missed for a long time.
I realized that there are some people I have intentionally withheld my love from over the years. Please note that I am not talking about society's idea of love, but the unconditional love that stems from Christ.
There are some people in my life that I suppose that I "gave up" on long ago, thinking to myself, "What's the point?", because every time I reached out to treat them with kindness or love, they would not return that love or treat me in the same manner. (In fact, sometimes these people took advantage of my love and treated me badly in return). I guess I justified my wrongdoing of withholding love by telling myself that there was no point in even trying anymore because they obviously didn't care...so why should I?
I am starting to realize that my problem was that my motives in loving these people was wrong. The very reason that I chose to show them love in the first place was tainted with sin. It was manipulative behavior and was not love. The reason that I chose to love them was that I was expecting something in return. I didn't love unselfishly. I expected to be loved back.
By the world's standards, this isn't such a ridiculous idea to expect this. But from a Biblical standard, it is not the way we should love, because it is not the way Christ loves us.
Christ loved us even "while we were yet sinners". He died for us while we were still His enemies.
What if Christ had loved me the same way I "love" my neighbor- with conditions?
He certainly would not have suffered, bled, and died for such a person as I. I sin against Him every day...yet every day, He shows me unconditional love. Why would He do that if love is something which requires that conditions be met first?
Here is the Biblical definition of love:
Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never ends.
1 Cor 13:4-8
Ouch. By this definition, I fall so short of truly loving so many people.
If I have ever felt irritable or resentful of someone, I am not loving them.
If I am ever arrogant in my heart towards another person...I am not loving them.
If I am not loving my neighbor, I am sinning. I should repent.
Let me clarify that loving them does not mean letting them do wrong things without speaking up about it and letting them know that they are wrong.
It simply means that we choose to love them (see the definition above) because they are a human being created in God's image, and we owe them a love debt. We owe them love because we are no better than they, no matter what sins they have committed.
Even if they are not a Christian, we should love them, perhaps even all the more...because we were once as they were and the only thing that separates us is not that we are better than them, but that we have been given a gift from God- undeserved forgiveness.
We should want that for them more than anything and should never arrogantly believe it is something that we accomplished by our own might or goodness. None of us pursues God.... It is God who draws us to Him. We should pray for this person and seek that God would draw them to Him as well.
So this is what I was convicted about tonight and I wanted to share my thoughts.
Here is the sermon, if you would like to listen as well:
I realized that there are some people I have intentionally withheld my love from over the years. Please note that I am not talking about society's idea of love, but the unconditional love that stems from Christ.
There are some people in my life that I suppose that I "gave up" on long ago, thinking to myself, "What's the point?", because every time I reached out to treat them with kindness or love, they would not return that love or treat me in the same manner. (In fact, sometimes these people took advantage of my love and treated me badly in return). I guess I justified my wrongdoing of withholding love by telling myself that there was no point in even trying anymore because they obviously didn't care...so why should I?
I am starting to realize that my problem was that my motives in loving these people was wrong. The very reason that I chose to show them love in the first place was tainted with sin. It was manipulative behavior and was not love. The reason that I chose to love them was that I was expecting something in return. I didn't love unselfishly. I expected to be loved back.
By the world's standards, this isn't such a ridiculous idea to expect this. But from a Biblical standard, it is not the way we should love, because it is not the way Christ loves us.
Christ loved us even "while we were yet sinners". He died for us while we were still His enemies.
What if Christ had loved me the same way I "love" my neighbor- with conditions?
He certainly would not have suffered, bled, and died for such a person as I. I sin against Him every day...yet every day, He shows me unconditional love. Why would He do that if love is something which requires that conditions be met first?
Here is the Biblical definition of love:
Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Love never ends.
1 Cor 13:4-8
Ouch. By this definition, I fall so short of truly loving so many people.
If I have ever felt irritable or resentful of someone, I am not loving them.
If I am ever arrogant in my heart towards another person...I am not loving them.
If I am not loving my neighbor, I am sinning. I should repent.
Let me clarify that loving them does not mean letting them do wrong things without speaking up about it and letting them know that they are wrong.
It simply means that we choose to love them (see the definition above) because they are a human being created in God's image, and we owe them a love debt. We owe them love because we are no better than they, no matter what sins they have committed.
Even if they are not a Christian, we should love them, perhaps even all the more...because we were once as they were and the only thing that separates us is not that we are better than them, but that we have been given a gift from God- undeserved forgiveness.
We should want that for them more than anything and should never arrogantly believe it is something that we accomplished by our own might or goodness. None of us pursues God.... It is God who draws us to Him. We should pray for this person and seek that God would draw them to Him as well.
So this is what I was convicted about tonight and I wanted to share my thoughts.
Here is the sermon, if you would like to listen as well:
I agree we should love without limits or expectations. BUT if someone is mean or abusive to me, that is where I draw the line.
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I agree that we should not tolerate abuse, I can assure you that is not what I meant in my post. If anyone is in an abusive situation they need to get out of that situation by any means possible. But to hold the hurt and bitterness inside instead of letting it go is like drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person. That bitterness only hurts myself when I hold a grudge in my heart against someone and hold on to the hurt after it has past. this is what I'm referring to. I am in no way saying that to love someone you have to allow them to treat you in an abusive fashion.
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