True Change
There are so many ways that I have witnessed a true change in my husband, and not just a small one but a radical change, since he accepted Christ 4 months ago. It is amazing to me, and I never even really realized how much he could change until he did. It is amazing what God can do in the life of a person.
One of the varied things that really made me take notice was my husband's different attitude towards children. He never has minded having more children, but he never really was excited about each new pregnancy either - at least, not like me. I remember he used to be worried about how we would be able to provide for more children, and never seemed to look forward to it in the same way that I did. He was always happy once the kids were here and couldn't imagine life without them, but he just didn't seem to have the same mindset as I did about children in the first place.
Now, his attitude is completely different, and visibly. In fact, a month after he accepted Christ, he is the one who came to me and said, "Wouldn't it be amazing if you were pregnant?" I hadn't even thought about it at that point, and I was caught off guard by his desire to have another baby! And the thing that really got me was that after he suggested it, I took a test and it turned out that I WAS pregnant, with this little baby girl...the timing was almost too perfect. I knew it couldn't be a coincidence.
About a week or two ago, I saw on Facebook a message from a friend who said that there was a girl who was 20 weeks pregnant (about the same as me) with a baby girl who had Spina Bifida. She had been planning on adopting out, but the adoptive parents backed out when they found out the baby had Spina Bifida, and abandoned her. The girl unfortunately had an abortion scheduled the next day unless she could find someone willing to adopt her THAT DAY. This was an urgent issue with very short notice.
I immediately wanted to take her in (even though it was intimidating because I did not know much about the condition or what is involved in care), and started researching about Spina Bifida, but wasn't sure about what James' reaction would be. This type of situation has come up before with a baby with Down Syndrome, years ago, and James has been sympathetic but not willing to take that extra step. He felt that someone else would adopt the baby then, and I think they probably did, thankfully.
I called James on the phone the minute I got the email about the girl who might be aborted, and just mentioned it to him. I didn't even ask if we could adopt her- I thought it would be too much pressure and I thought maybe we could talk alone about it later. He didn't really say much on the phone except that it was "a really sad situation". I assumed his answer was going to be a no, and started trying to find others who would be willing to adopt. I found two friends who were completely willing.
When he got home, however, he told me that he had been thinking about it and when I had originally called, he had been afraid that we were going to have to adopt this girl. He said he went through all kinds of thoughts, including the fact that we are already pregnant with a baby the same age- Then, he said that he felt convicted about his attitude about it. He wondered what he was so afraid of, and he said he felt that God spoke to him and made him realize that there are no guarantees in this life - just because we have healthy children doesn't mean that we couldn't end up with a disabled child one day, and if we did, how would we handle it if we wouldn't be willing to at least try to take in this child, especially if it would protect her from being killed. Why should she die just because she might have problems walking?
I have to say, I think that God's character is shown in the different way my husband reacted to this situation. The fact that he was WILLING showed a completely different heart than he used to have, and I think it is what God does to you when He changes you. God gives you a love for children, and a willingness to help others who are in need.
We were not the only ones who were willing to help the baby out. It turns out that over 30 other couples offered to raise this child in their homes that day - tragically, however, the mother decided to abort after all. It was a very sad thing to hear, after so many people had been willing to give this child a chance at life.
Please pray for that girl to realize what she has done and seek forgiveness for what she chose to do.
The reason for this post was just to say that I am amazed to see what God can do in someone's life. I would have never been able to imagine my husband changing in the way he has- and this is only one very small aspect of the different changes I have seen in him. Maybe one day I will be able to post about it all, but I am definitely a believer in the fact that when you are in Christ, you are a "new creation".
One of the varied things that really made me take notice was my husband's different attitude towards children. He never has minded having more children, but he never really was excited about each new pregnancy either - at least, not like me. I remember he used to be worried about how we would be able to provide for more children, and never seemed to look forward to it in the same way that I did. He was always happy once the kids were here and couldn't imagine life without them, but he just didn't seem to have the same mindset as I did about children in the first place.
Now, his attitude is completely different, and visibly. In fact, a month after he accepted Christ, he is the one who came to me and said, "Wouldn't it be amazing if you were pregnant?" I hadn't even thought about it at that point, and I was caught off guard by his desire to have another baby! And the thing that really got me was that after he suggested it, I took a test and it turned out that I WAS pregnant, with this little baby girl...the timing was almost too perfect. I knew it couldn't be a coincidence.
About a week or two ago, I saw on Facebook a message from a friend who said that there was a girl who was 20 weeks pregnant (about the same as me) with a baby girl who had Spina Bifida. She had been planning on adopting out, but the adoptive parents backed out when they found out the baby had Spina Bifida, and abandoned her. The girl unfortunately had an abortion scheduled the next day unless she could find someone willing to adopt her THAT DAY. This was an urgent issue with very short notice.
I immediately wanted to take her in (even though it was intimidating because I did not know much about the condition or what is involved in care), and started researching about Spina Bifida, but wasn't sure about what James' reaction would be. This type of situation has come up before with a baby with Down Syndrome, years ago, and James has been sympathetic but not willing to take that extra step. He felt that someone else would adopt the baby then, and I think they probably did, thankfully.
I called James on the phone the minute I got the email about the girl who might be aborted, and just mentioned it to him. I didn't even ask if we could adopt her- I thought it would be too much pressure and I thought maybe we could talk alone about it later. He didn't really say much on the phone except that it was "a really sad situation". I assumed his answer was going to be a no, and started trying to find others who would be willing to adopt. I found two friends who were completely willing.
When he got home, however, he told me that he had been thinking about it and when I had originally called, he had been afraid that we were going to have to adopt this girl. He said he went through all kinds of thoughts, including the fact that we are already pregnant with a baby the same age- Then, he said that he felt convicted about his attitude about it. He wondered what he was so afraid of, and he said he felt that God spoke to him and made him realize that there are no guarantees in this life - just because we have healthy children doesn't mean that we couldn't end up with a disabled child one day, and if we did, how would we handle it if we wouldn't be willing to at least try to take in this child, especially if it would protect her from being killed. Why should she die just because she might have problems walking?
I have to say, I think that God's character is shown in the different way my husband reacted to this situation. The fact that he was WILLING showed a completely different heart than he used to have, and I think it is what God does to you when He changes you. God gives you a love for children, and a willingness to help others who are in need.
We were not the only ones who were willing to help the baby out. It turns out that over 30 other couples offered to raise this child in their homes that day - tragically, however, the mother decided to abort after all. It was a very sad thing to hear, after so many people had been willing to give this child a chance at life.
Please pray for that girl to realize what she has done and seek forgiveness for what she chose to do. The reason for this post was just to say that I am amazed to see what God can do in someone's life. I would have never been able to imagine my husband changing in the way he has- and this is only one very small aspect of the different changes I have seen in him. Maybe one day I will be able to post about it all, but I am definitely a believer in the fact that when you are in Christ, you are a "new creation".
Bethany - I have read your blog for a while now and am always blessed by your sharing. I haven't commented, though I've kept you and your precious family in my prayers. I admire your openness about your faith, struggles, and victories.
I must say though, today I feel the need to comment. I admire you and your husband's heart for reaching out to take on this situation, especially as challenging (but blessed!) as caring for a child with Spina Bifida. Not many would intentionally take on that challenge.
However, I was a little shocked to see your comment saying, "Please pray for that girl to realize what she has done and seek forgiveness for what she chose to do." I must say that I understand - myself being a woman who has faced miscarriage and infertility - that the thought of intentionally terminating a pregnancy - a life that God has knitted together in the womb - is unfathomable. She did make a very poor decision. And it is my prayer also that she seeks forgiveness for that poor decision one day. BUT, I ask you to look at it from a different angle. NO, I do not condone abortion AT ALL - not even when a child may have health problems. I am 100% against abortion - there is ALWAYS another option.
But here's the thing - when she terminated that pregnancy, she created a hole in her heart. I assure you that she will suffer a pain greater than the "unplanned" loss of a child for many years to come unless she comes to Christ to heal that pain, and even then, the pain may linger as Christ molds her heart and life to line up more with His until one day she is set free from that mistake (and others).
I ask you to please pray for her - not that she will "realize what she's done" - she KNOWS what she's done. I assure you, without even knowing her, that it was not a decision that was taken lightly. Pray for comfort for her as the pain, shame, and regret she will face because of this choice is almost unbearable. Pray that she will come to know Christ's love and instead of facing judgment from others, will feel His love for her through us.
Don't be the person standing in the temple courts berating the woman on the ground. Show her His love, even in the face of such a mistake. ONLY then will she come to know His forgiveness and grace. And then maybe she'll be able to forgive herself, which is the hardest part of it all.
You don't have to agree with me. I'll still love you. But please consider my thought.
Reply to this
Jenny, I agree with you and I am not condemning this girl when I say that I hope she seeks forgiveness. This girl is going to have to go through a lot of denial to be able to cope with what she has done. She will attempt to convince herself that what she did was the "right thing" in order to keep her sanity. But this is only going to cause her to go further into depression and turmoil and suicidal thoughts until she is able to face the reality that what she did was absolutely wrong and seek forgiveness from Christ who is the ONLY one who will be able to heal her pain. That is what I pray - that she will one day accept that what she did was wrong, and turn to Christ and seek forgiveness. He and He alone can give her the peace she will need.
As for her baby girl, what was done to her was a severe injustice. I feel that the medical community who pressured her to abort, along with the adoptive family who backed out and abandoned her when she needed them the most, are also to blame for this child's death.
Reply to this
Amen Bethany, you pegged it right.
Reply to this
I have to disagree with you Jenny. I had an abortion when I was much younger and not a Christian. It took me many years before I realized what I had done. At the time, I completely believed it was for the best and was not sad or repentant at all.
Bethany's requests for prayers for the girl, especially what she suggested people pray for, was not out of line at all.
Reply to this
I must agree. I hear so many people saying that abortion for any reason is not "a decision ANYONE makes lightly". I have seen many, many people make this decision very, very lightly. I've been in Planned Parenthood offices and talked to a 13-year old girl who was on her 3rd abortion and couldn't wait to "just get rid of it". I have adult friends who just "wanted to get it done" and not have to "worry about it anymore". Whether or not they were repentant *later*, only God knows. But millions of women make this decision lightly every single day. To say that this is a "difficult decision, not made lightly by any pregnant person" is a flat-out lie and broad, sweeping generalization. While I'm sure there are many women who agonize over this decision, there are many who couldn't care less, or who are uninformed and believe pro-abortionists who tell them that their baby is just a blob of tissue.
That said, I do pray for those who make a decision they regret later (as so many women do), for those who don't regret their decision and for their innocent babies. I'm so very saddened that this girl--with 30 families willing to take her child--couldn't trust enough to give her child life. I can only suspect that she knew once she gave birth that she'd not want to give up her child, and facing a lifetime of possible disability, assumed that abortion was "easier". It's a sad, sad situation and I take solace that only God Himself is in charge.
Reply to this
And what if it turned out that the baby didn't have Spina Bifida at all? That would make this situation even MORE heart-breaking. Doctors and tests CAN be wrong sometimes. They did tests on me when I was pregnant with my daughter, and told me she had "markers" for Down Syndrome. This particular test is wrong quite often( as it turns out). My daughter was FINE, but so many people take a doctor's word or a test result as "set in stone", they act as if doctors are GOD, and it results in the tragic deaths of many HEALTHY, NORMAL children. Such a sad situation.
Reply to this
Forgot to mention that I'm so happy for the "change" in your husband! You've always said you were fortunate enough to marry the world's sweetest man, and I can only imagine how much more wonderful he must be now! What an incredible blessing!
Reply to this