I wanted to mention that some of the things that I said in the post below (about forgiveness) may not apply to an unrepentant person.     I think that I got my points mixed up, thinking of a repentant person when I was talking about both.

So I just wanted to clarify that certain things like, "You will trust them again" obviously may not apply in some situations, such as abusive relationships or someone who is continually hurting you.  You might not be able to trust them again right now, but it doesn't mean that you haven't forgiven them.     I'm sorry for not making that more clear.
I am sure most of you knew this already, but I just wanted to make sure that I didn't say anything that might make someone think they have done something wrong when they were actually right all along.  There's nothing wrong with protecting yourself or keeping yourself at a distance from someone who wants to hurt you.

I had another commenter ask me a question:

Thank you for writing this. I still have one question though. How do you forgive when that person keeps hurting you and your family time and time again? Then they get others to do you harm. I feel like I did forgive then they are back at it again!

If they are physically or emotionally causing harm to you or your family, I think it is good to boundaries with them (please read the book "Boundaries " by Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend)....but I personally believe that the right thing to do would be to still forgive in your heart towards them, pray for them, and never repay evil for evil.  

We aren't supposed to be overcome with evil, but to overcome evil with good.     Pray that one day they will change. God does hear our prayers when we come to Him in sincerity and humility, and He CAN change a person's heart.   It may not happen overnight- it may take years, but have patience. God can change even the most evil heart, and transform it into a heart like His own.   Love the person who hurts you continually.  Do kind things for them.   Say kind words to them in return for their hateful ones.  Not in a holier than thou kind of way- but in sincerity.

God will take care of the rest of the details after we choose forgiveness.  If a person is hurting us continually, God sees this and will do justice in the right time, and the right way. 

However, He also sees if we have a vengeful attitude towards them, the Bible mentions that if we are happy at another person's calamity (which would indicate an unforgiving heart towards them) God will turn away His wrath from that person and turn it on us instead.     We are not doing ourselves any favors when we try to take matters into our own hands, or when we choose to hold onto our hurt!

God is pleased with us when we forgive, because that is how we follow His example- He know what to do and always has a plan to avenge us in the right way. And He is the ONLY one who can possibly give a just judgment, as He only knows every heart.  

When we try to take matters into our own hands, it never works, no matter how just our feelings are about what happened to us.  No matter what the person did to us, we are not to try to repay that or keep bitterness in our hearts....we are to forgive and love unconditionally.    And this includes when it keeps happening again and again.  (Mat 18:21, “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Mat 18:22, “Jesus said unto him, I say not unto you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” )

Keeping the matter in our hearts and minds and not letting go of it is an indication that we are seeking a way to punish the person.     Let it go, and trust, truly trust, that God knows how to handle the situation, and there is nothing this person has done that God has not seen before or cannot handle.  

I say all of this knowing that I have recently had all of these problems and through the years, it has been a continual struggle for me.   I am so thankful that God finally showed me how to forgive so that I could let go of the hurts I held onto so long.   I am posting this stuff to hopefully encourage others out there who are dealing with the same issues that I have dealt with.  This is the way that I have finally found freedom and joy.