I have been going through a huge trial lately, and this is one reason my blog is so rarely posted in now.  

Although I am not ready to share the details of my trial publicly, I want to use what I've learned from my situation as a way to help others who have been there or who have been through other various trials in their lives.

I went through a lot of pain, tremendous pain, in the last week.   I was completely unprepared for it.    My first reaction was to try to find my blame in the situation, but in this situation I truly had no part in the blame.  

Sometimes, trials do happen to us without us having done anything to cause them.   Sometimes they happen because God is to be glorified through us.    

Why should I be any higher than Christ, who suffered the worst suffering imaginable, unjustly, at the hands of those who should have loved him, and who Christ himself loved?

Why should I go through a life with no sorrow, no rejection, when Christ suffered rejection, and all He ever did was love, and give life to others?

I should have been more prepared, but I had forgotten that if you are trying to do right, the Devil will be seeking a way to rid you of your joy, and to destroy your life, your family, and your heart. 

My worst fears were realized  the other day, and I did not die.  I survived, although I was heartbroken.   My life was not over.    

My entire life had changed, and I did not know how to trust that there was a soul that I could trust- then I realized that the only one that I can always trust in, is the one that I was not completely trusting.  I leaned on God to comfort me and show me what to do and how to get through this.  I think that without God being behind me, I may have just given up.  Without the hope, and promises that God offers in the Bible, I may have lost all hope.   God promises that all things work together for the Good to those who love Him.  I had to trust this was the case.

The most important thing you can ever do if you are in this situation is to read the Bible- and pray.  If you do not know where to read, find a once a year reading schedule in the back of your Bible, and read the chapters that you find there.    Somehow, every verse that I read applied to my own situation in such a strong way, that I know it could not have been a coincidence that I was reading them.  God was letting me know that things were going to be okay, and that He is in control of it ALL.    This situation will work out to bring Glory to Him and to make my family and life full of pure joy!

In a minute, I will post verses I read that I hope will give encouragement to anyone else suffering and not understanding "why".   The question "why" is the one that made me hurt the most, until I read these passages and realized that I am seeing such a small part of the picture. 

The larger picture is what God can see, and He knows that this trial will work out to bring me closer to Him, along with my whole family.   In fact, as hard as it might be to understand why it had to be this way, it was literally a direct answer to my prayers.  God works in completely mysterious ways that we cannot comprehend!

I have been on an emotional roller coaster, but the lows are becoming less frequent, and less intense.  The highs are becoming more frequent, and more joyful.  I know I will one day be healed and released from the pain.  The one thing that keeps my mind from becoming too negative, and removes that fear from me, is reading the Bible and the encouraging words it has to offer.

1st Peter 1 and 2 were the chapters that my "read through the Bible in a year" plan had for me to read- here are some verses from these chapters that gave comfort to my soul:

1 Peter 1:6 -
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith- more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

1 Peter 2:19-

For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. 

20 For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.

 21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.

22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return.  When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

And my devotional had some verses and thoughts that I want to share- because they were also relevant (from the "Morning and Evening" devotional by Charles Haddock Spurgeon):

"....A hypocrite, when afflicted by God, resents the infliction, and like a slave, would run from the Master who has scourged him; but not so the true heir of heaven, who kisses the hand that struck him and seeks shelter from the rod in the heart of the God who frowned upon him. Job's desire to commune with God was intensified by the failure of all other sources of consolation.  The patriarch turned away from his sorry friends and looked up to the heavenly throne, just as a traveler turns from his empty water jug and makes a beeline for the well. He bids farewell to earth born hopes and cries. "Oh that I knew where I might find my God!"  Nothing teaches us about the preciousness of the creator as much as when we learn the emptiness of everything else. Turning away with bitter scorn from earths hives,, where we find no honey, but many sharp stings, we rejoice in Him whose faithful word is sweeter than honey or the honeycomb. In every trouble we should first seek to realize God's presence is with us.  Only let us enjoy His smile, and then we can bear our daily cross with a willing heart for His dear sake".
 
I hope that if anyone is reading this and is currently going through a trial of any kind, these words will be helpful and encouraging to you!