Ian's Birth Story
Wednesday evening, James and I went to town to work on the latest mural project that I’ve been working on, and we were there for about an hour.
As we were painting, I kept noticing that my contractions were getting pretty intense….more than normal. They had also moved down to where they felt like menstrual cramps rather than just abdominal pressure.
Usually, I didn’t notice my contractions that much unless I was relaxed, but it was getting to the point where I could not think about anything else, and they were coming very frequently, even while I was walking around and painting.
Since I had already had a few false alarms, I wasn’t sure whether to even worry about it, so I kept trying to paint and just ignore the contractions. Eventually, James asked if I should go to the doctor,because he kept seeing me hold my stomach and wince. I finally decided it might not be a bad idea, so we called the hospital and they let me come in.
I was there for about 1 hour. They checked me before and after- I was 4cm dilated, but even though I was having contractions every 2-4 minutes, there was no progress from the first hour to the next, so they sent me home. (However, the nurse who checked me did comment that thewater bag was so low and so thin that she was afraid she might accidentally break it with her finger.)
The next day was my regular OB appointment, so I just decided to wait it out and see if there was any more progress by the time I got to the doctor’s office. I had strong, very strong contractions all morning.Caleb started noticing and was asking, “Mommy, are you going to have the baby today? Are you okay?”
I suddenly felt an urge to take all of the kids to the park….I had a feeling this was really it, that the baby was coming soon. I just wanted them to have a good day with me before I had this baby, if that was going to happen.
I took the kids to the park and we had a really nice picnic…the weather was so beautiful, and they all rode their bicycles for a few hours while I waited for it to be time to go to the doctor…then I got them a nice cream cone. We had a great time…except that I was having pain from the contractions. Also, when I was walking, I kept feeling like the baby was going to “fall out”, although I knew that would not happen.
I was going to drop the kids off with my mother when I went to the doctor, but she had left a note on her door saying that something came up and I would have to take them with me. So we all went to the doctor together.
All of the children read books in a little room while I was being checked again. The doctor told me that I was still 4 cm dilated but I was in active labor, and she led us through a private door to the hospital labor and delivery room. They told me I’d need to get someone to watch the children for me, so I called James right away- he took off work and brought them is parent’s house.
My doctor came in and said she was going to break my water, to help things progress…. I knew that as soon as she did that, the contractions were going to get much worse (I remember that much from my previous labors!) - but I decided to do it since she had recommended it.
I didn’t feel anything at all when she inserted the hook, and she said it was already broken before I realized it. It was about 5:40 when she left the room- and she was going home. Unfortunately, I was going to have to have an on call doctor to deliver my baby instead of her, so I was a little disappointed about that!
Then came more and more intense contractions. They got so painful so quickly that I couldn’t believe it. Since I have always had an epidural after I am 4 cm dilated, I have never made it this far without having pain relief! (I had previously decided not to have an epidural or be induced with pitosin this time).
I started writhing on the bed with each one and begging the contractions to stop…each one was more intense than the last. No matter which way I turned, I could not find a way to become comfortable, even in between contractions. At one point, I tried kneeling on all fours(something I’ve never been able to do with any other pregnancy because I’m usually hooked up to all kinds of tubes and monitors). That helped a little, but the intensity was so great that it just wasn‘t enough.
I started crying because the pain was becoming excruciating. James kept holding my hand through each contraction and telling me that I was doing good, and he looked helpless- like he wanted really badly to be able to ease my pain but he couldn’t do anything about it.
The nurses kept coming in and asking if I was sure that I didn’t want any pain medication. I considered it. I asked them if there was an alternative to the epidural, and if so, what it was. They told me about a different kind they could give me until I was 6-7 centimeters dilated(through IV), but then they would have to stop giving it to me when I got closer to the pushing phase. I thought, what is the point of taking it and feeling the relief, only to have to feel the pain again shortly? So I decided against it.
They came back in the room a while later and I was moaning and crying and wriggling all over- and I started feeling this horribly intense urge to push and I was panicking because I didn‘t know what to do-should I push? Could I push? I was already starting to push but I couldn‘t even control it or stop it!
They asked if I would like to reconsider the epidural. They said that I would only be able to have the option to do so until I was a certain amount of centimeters dilated. Then the doctor walked in as soon as they said this, and checked me and said, “It’s too late for that now..she’s ready to push!”
I was scared to death- the intensity of the contractions and the urge to push were so strong, but what I was about to push out felt so huge and so terribly excruciating that I was scared to death to push it out.I also felt like if I pushed as hard as my body wanted me to, that the baby would fly out of me across the room.
I was yelling things like, Please PLEASE please stop hurting…. It hurts so bad!!!!…oh what do I do? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do? How do I push? I don‘t think I can DO THIS!“ I started hyperventilating andthe doctor and nurses tried to calm me and guide me through pushing.They told me to go ahead and push.
I pushed as hard as I could, but they told me I wasn’t pushing! I knew I was pushing but it must not have been hard enough- my body was doing it for me at this point and I didn’t even feel like I was in control of anything around me or what was going on at all! I felt like I was going crazy and that I was stuck in this horrible nightmare that I could not escape…the pain was unbearable…I thought I was going to die.
My husband looked so helpless and kept reassuring me that I was doing well. I was screaming and yelling in pain and when he would tell me I was doing good, I would say, “no I’m not, I’m doing terrible! I’m doing awful…I can’t do this!!!!” I kept apologizing to the doctor for yelling- I didn’t know how to stop.
I felt like my body was going to split in two…. I finally felt what I have heard described as the “ring of fire” as my baby’s head was making it’s way through the birth canal…. “ring of fire“ is a huge understatement! It is so much more intense and so much more painful than I ever would have imagined. I started screaming and my body was pushing and fighting pushing all at the same time. My legs kept trying to hold him back in, and they had to keep separating them and reminding me to do so.
Since I was hyperventilating, the nurses had to remind me to breathe in and then to push for a certain number of seconds, as hard as I possibly could. I did this, and I felt his head coming through…it felt so much bigger than I could imagine possibly getting out of me. I didn’t think my body was capable of getting it out. It hurt so bad!
I screamed and pushed some more (I was afraid that I might be scaring people in the other rooms but I couldn’t control myself) and I felt the burning and the pressure intensify more and more, and the doctor kept saying, push some more, you’re almost there…just keep pushing!” It was much harder work and so much more painful than I had expected.
I bared down and pushed with all of my might and then I finally felt this head pass through!!! However, the pain did not stop there…. I hadto push his chest out, and it felt like I was pushing another head out!
I pushed and screamed and after a few long pushes, it finally came out,….all of a sudden, I felt my belly empty, and he was OUT! I felt such relief at that moment….The pain and the contractions and everything- it was all over. At 6:30, my baby was born.
I was shaking all over and couldn’t believe what I had just been through. My endorphins had been so high apparently that I didn’t even feel it when the doctor gave me an episiotomy- a second degree episiotomy without any local anesthesia (he didn‘t have time). Getting stitched up was also nothing comparing to what I had just been through.I heard the baby crying and couldn’t believe it. There was a real baby and I was about to finally meet him.
I had to wait to be stitched up and cleaned before I could hold him,but when I held him in my arms, I felt so emotional and couldn’t believe this is what had caused so much pain…he was so beautiful and so perfect. He was worth it all. He had a bruise on his head because of how quickly he came out, and his head had a slight cone shape, but he had the most beautiful eyes and he was so alert!
We asked how much he weighed- the nurse said, “10 pounds even!” WOW.
I was just so thankful that it was finally over with, and I could finally enjoy the baby I had waited so long for. Sweet baby Ian.
As we were painting, I kept noticing that my contractions were getting pretty intense….more than normal. They had also moved down to where they felt like menstrual cramps rather than just abdominal pressure.
Usually, I didn’t notice my contractions that much unless I was relaxed, but it was getting to the point where I could not think about anything else, and they were coming very frequently, even while I was walking around and painting.
Since I had already had a few false alarms, I wasn’t sure whether to even worry about it, so I kept trying to paint and just ignore the contractions. Eventually, James asked if I should go to the doctor,because he kept seeing me hold my stomach and wince. I finally decided it might not be a bad idea, so we called the hospital and they let me come in.
I was there for about 1 hour. They checked me before and after- I was 4cm dilated, but even though I was having contractions every 2-4 minutes, there was no progress from the first hour to the next, so they sent me home. (However, the nurse who checked me did comment that thewater bag was so low and so thin that she was afraid she might accidentally break it with her finger.)
The next day was my regular OB appointment, so I just decided to wait it out and see if there was any more progress by the time I got to the doctor’s office. I had strong, very strong contractions all morning.Caleb started noticing and was asking, “Mommy, are you going to have the baby today? Are you okay?”
I suddenly felt an urge to take all of the kids to the park….I had a feeling this was really it, that the baby was coming soon. I just wanted them to have a good day with me before I had this baby, if that was going to happen.
I took the kids to the park and we had a really nice picnic…the weather was so beautiful, and they all rode their bicycles for a few hours while I waited for it to be time to go to the doctor…then I got them a nice cream cone. We had a great time…except that I was having pain from the contractions. Also, when I was walking, I kept feeling like the baby was going to “fall out”, although I knew that would not happen.
I was going to drop the kids off with my mother when I went to the doctor, but she had left a note on her door saying that something came up and I would have to take them with me. So we all went to the doctor together.
All of the children read books in a little room while I was being checked again. The doctor told me that I was still 4 cm dilated but I was in active labor, and she led us through a private door to the hospital labor and delivery room. They told me I’d need to get someone to watch the children for me, so I called James right away- he took off work and brought them is parent’s house.
My doctor came in and said she was going to break my water, to help things progress…. I knew that as soon as she did that, the contractions were going to get much worse (I remember that much from my previous labors!) - but I decided to do it since she had recommended it.
I didn’t feel anything at all when she inserted the hook, and she said it was already broken before I realized it. It was about 5:40 when she left the room- and she was going home. Unfortunately, I was going to have to have an on call doctor to deliver my baby instead of her, so I was a little disappointed about that!
Then came more and more intense contractions. They got so painful so quickly that I couldn’t believe it. Since I have always had an epidural after I am 4 cm dilated, I have never made it this far without having pain relief! (I had previously decided not to have an epidural or be induced with pitosin this time).
I started writhing on the bed with each one and begging the contractions to stop…each one was more intense than the last. No matter which way I turned, I could not find a way to become comfortable, even in between contractions. At one point, I tried kneeling on all fours(something I’ve never been able to do with any other pregnancy because I’m usually hooked up to all kinds of tubes and monitors). That helped a little, but the intensity was so great that it just wasn‘t enough.
I started crying because the pain was becoming excruciating. James kept holding my hand through each contraction and telling me that I was doing good, and he looked helpless- like he wanted really badly to be able to ease my pain but he couldn’t do anything about it.
The nurses kept coming in and asking if I was sure that I didn’t want any pain medication. I considered it. I asked them if there was an alternative to the epidural, and if so, what it was. They told me about a different kind they could give me until I was 6-7 centimeters dilated(through IV), but then they would have to stop giving it to me when I got closer to the pushing phase. I thought, what is the point of taking it and feeling the relief, only to have to feel the pain again shortly? So I decided against it.
They came back in the room a while later and I was moaning and crying and wriggling all over- and I started feeling this horribly intense urge to push and I was panicking because I didn‘t know what to do-should I push? Could I push? I was already starting to push but I couldn‘t even control it or stop it!
They asked if I would like to reconsider the epidural. They said that I would only be able to have the option to do so until I was a certain amount of centimeters dilated. Then the doctor walked in as soon as they said this, and checked me and said, “It’s too late for that now..she’s ready to push!”
I was scared to death- the intensity of the contractions and the urge to push were so strong, but what I was about to push out felt so huge and so terribly excruciating that I was scared to death to push it out.I also felt like if I pushed as hard as my body wanted me to, that the baby would fly out of me across the room.
I was yelling things like, Please PLEASE please stop hurting…. It hurts so bad!!!!…oh what do I do? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do? How do I push? I don‘t think I can DO THIS!“ I started hyperventilating andthe doctor and nurses tried to calm me and guide me through pushing.They told me to go ahead and push.
I pushed as hard as I could, but they told me I wasn’t pushing! I knew I was pushing but it must not have been hard enough- my body was doing it for me at this point and I didn’t even feel like I was in control of anything around me or what was going on at all! I felt like I was going crazy and that I was stuck in this horrible nightmare that I could not escape…the pain was unbearable…I thought I was going to die.
My husband looked so helpless and kept reassuring me that I was doing well. I was screaming and yelling in pain and when he would tell me I was doing good, I would say, “no I’m not, I’m doing terrible! I’m doing awful…I can’t do this!!!!” I kept apologizing to the doctor for yelling- I didn’t know how to stop.
I felt like my body was going to split in two…. I finally felt what I have heard described as the “ring of fire” as my baby’s head was making it’s way through the birth canal…. “ring of fire“ is a huge understatement! It is so much more intense and so much more painful than I ever would have imagined. I started screaming and my body was pushing and fighting pushing all at the same time. My legs kept trying to hold him back in, and they had to keep separating them and reminding me to do so.
Since I was hyperventilating, the nurses had to remind me to breathe in and then to push for a certain number of seconds, as hard as I possibly could. I did this, and I felt his head coming through…it felt so much bigger than I could imagine possibly getting out of me. I didn’t think my body was capable of getting it out. It hurt so bad!
I screamed and pushed some more (I was afraid that I might be scaring people in the other rooms but I couldn’t control myself) and I felt the burning and the pressure intensify more and more, and the doctor kept saying, push some more, you’re almost there…just keep pushing!” It was much harder work and so much more painful than I had expected.
I bared down and pushed with all of my might and then I finally felt this head pass through!!! However, the pain did not stop there…. I hadto push his chest out, and it felt like I was pushing another head out!
I pushed and screamed and after a few long pushes, it finally came out,….all of a sudden, I felt my belly empty, and he was OUT! I felt such relief at that moment….The pain and the contractions and everything- it was all over. At 6:30, my baby was born.
I was shaking all over and couldn’t believe what I had just been through. My endorphins had been so high apparently that I didn’t even feel it when the doctor gave me an episiotomy- a second degree episiotomy without any local anesthesia (he didn‘t have time). Getting stitched up was also nothing comparing to what I had just been through.I heard the baby crying and couldn’t believe it. There was a real baby and I was about to finally meet him.
I had to wait to be stitched up and cleaned before I could hold him,but when I held him in my arms, I felt so emotional and couldn’t believe this is what had caused so much pain…he was so beautiful and so perfect. He was worth it all. He had a bruise on his head because of how quickly he came out, and his head had a slight cone shape, but he had the most beautiful eyes and he was so alert!
We asked how much he weighed- the nurse said, “10 pounds even!” WOW.
I was just so thankful that it was finally over with, and I could finally enjoy the baby I had waited so long for. Sweet baby Ian.
He's just SO beautiful! My labor was 19 1/2 hours with no epidural until about the last 30 minutes, then they had to do a c-section because her heart rate dropped. She was only 4 pounds, though.
GOOD JOB, BETHANY!
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He is beautiful! And 10 pounds is a BIG baby!
I didn't want an epidural with my first but at a doctor's appointment I heard screaming like you've described and I changed my mind right then LOL
I started asking for the epidural as soon as I got to the hospital and luckily as bad as the contractions were before they gave it to me they never reached anywhere near the point yours did.
But he's worth every minute of your labor!
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He is so Handsome! I'm so happy for you!
Oh, but I remember the pain you described. I had planned the whole pregnancy to have an epidural with Catherine. Danny came to quickly for one but he was a preemie and only 3 lbs 10 oz! so I had no idea how painful it was. Well, they tried to give me the epidural but they weren't able to get the needle in. I have a 2" sway back which prevented them from getting the needle where it needed to go. ug. I screamed and yelled just like you. My sisters were there in the room with me and Stu which was so wonderful but they kept talking to my OBGYN! Um, excuse me - I think he was busy! I found out later that he went to a high school that was the rival to our high school and that is what they were talking about.
But when I saw Catherine - I didn't care about the pain anymore.
Congratulations!
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Oh, those babies are soo worth it!! I am expecting my 4th in September so it is fun to hear your story - bit of a reminder of what is to come.
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Beautiful! God bless you.
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Bethany, I rarely comment, but I always read your posts in my reader. I enjoy your blog very much. It's interesting that while I was reading your birth story it felt so much like my 4th birth experience. Almost identical, in fact. I had no anesthesia and I screamed bloody murder enough that I also wondered if I was scaring everyone on the hospital floor! There's pretty much nothing you can do but scream in such pain! But when it was over with I felt so good (shaky, like you mentioned, but good) and my baby girl was alert and wanted to nurse right away. It was so beautiful. Hard work, but worth it. My babies were all big, too. Not quite 10 pounds (although my last one would've been had she come on time instead of 3 weeks early), but in the 8s and 9s, so I sympathize with you on having to deliver such a big baby.
Good thing you went on that diabetic diet or he might've gone up another 1/2 pound or more!
Congrats to you and your family on your sweet little one!
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Bethany, congratulations! I, too hollered during labor. Big babies for me, too, although I (as a Bradley teacher) hear about a lot of 6 pounders who seem more difficult to birth. The big ones are "cooked" and ready to be born! Excellent work, mama. Excellent
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Wanted to mention: shaking after birth happens to almost every woman, and is completely normal. It feels weird, but is normal. Think of what you just went through and how many muscles you used! It's a wonder we don't all shake for about a week
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Beautiful! Thank you for sharing Ian's birth story.
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Bethany-I can so relate to your description. I just had my 4th baby 4 mos ago and did it without an epidural (or any other pain relief). The other 3 I had had the epidural. Your description was sooooo accurate. The yelling, the feeling like you were going to split in two...the shaking...all of that. Oh, the pushing whether you wanted to or not (they were telling me not to push when I was 9 cm but I could no sooner have stopped than I could have gotten up and walked out of that room). We're not planning any more children (but hey, we didn't plan this one! LOL) but if I have any more...I WILLLLL have an epidural. LOL Congrats on your "little" one! (Mine was 9 lbs 7 oz and was 3 weeks early-the dr said he'd have been 11-12 lbs if I'd gone full term but I was "induced" when I was 5 cm dilated-we were scared that if I waited I wouldn't make it to the hospital since I'd gotten to 5 w/o being in active labor. He is now sitting next to me in a little chair and is 22 lbs 1 oz at 4 mos!)
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I am so proud of you! I have had two 10+ babies and it was a difficult labor because of their size. My daughter was a c-section. She was 10.4 I was complete with my section. My son was a vbac and he was 10.6. Natural birth is very hard but so worth it. I'm so glad you all can enjoy your sweet baby now!
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WOW...you went all natural with a TEN pound baby! God Bless your heart. How big were your other three babies?
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I just hope there weren't any first time mommy's in the next room to hear you scream! It reminds me of when I had my first- I had no idea what to expect, and the lady next door was hollering and screaming the whole night. (well, it seemed like the whole night- it was probably only about 3 hours or so) I remember looking at my husband and telling him I had changed my mind- I didn't want to go through with it after all! I have done all of them, (going on 5 in a couple of weeks) without pain meds, but I have never had a 10 pounder. I can't even imagine. And I am the opposite. I can't scream, I am in too much pain. I just lay there and whimper pitifully. And sometimes cry. = ) He's beautiful- good job having a baby that big with no pain meds!
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Oh, you describe it so well! That bothers me more than the pain- the out of control feeling. Like you are on a roller coaster and can't get off and even your OWN BODY doesn't obey you anymore!
Beautiful baby boy!
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I'm so proud of you! Congratulations on your beautiful little man. I've never had a natural birth thanks to my side-lying kids, but I love reading birth stories.
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Bethany, I am so happy for your whole family. I have prayed for this to be a great preg. and a good birth for you. And this is really a great outcome. I am just so happy you finally have another baby to hold in your arms.
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Welcome Ian!
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Bethany,
Thanks so much for posting. Your little Ian will appreciate what you went through when he is older. I can relate to the difficulty in watching your husband looking so helpless. I experienced much of what you did and I finally had the epidural! The cramping was terrible and I was writhing, not screaming. I had run around all day doing errands and trying to ignore the pain. I ended up dehydrating myself which caused labor to start and stop and start and stop. (A word to the wise - drink plenty of fluids .) Finally at 11:00 PM I went into the hospital and delivered 11:00 AM. My water didn't break so they had to finally break the sac. I remember being so hungry that I could have eaten a horse!! One other fun fact - the electricity went out that night so there were no monitors for contractions..... I had to let the nurses and doctors know when I was going to push. Thank God it all turned out OK. My daughter was only 6 lbs 8 oz. You are a birthing goddess!
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Okay, now I'm afraid of labor! lol. I'm undecided on pain management. This is my first and I don't know enough about labor to commit either way at this point (10 weeks left!) so we'll see how it is when it happens. I'll probably be begging for something.. but it would be amazing (and I'd *really* surprise myself) if I could do without like my sister did.
After reading that, though, I'm not sure thinking I could do without is realistic! lol I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to pain anyway. I have panic attacks if I'm in pain that doesn't feel like it'll let up (menstrual cramps once and umm.. potty cramps several times.. if that gives you an idea of how wimpy lol) The out of control feeling Milehimama mentioned would get to me too. I panic when I throw up because of the lack of control. But labor isn't *supposed* to be easy, is it?
I'll make sure my doctor is aware of strong possibility of me panicking.. even though they probably get it a lot.
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Tiffany, if you are that troubled by pain you would do well to get an epidural. You'll still have pain before the epidural (I think it's around 4 cm dilated before they'll give it to you) and it will subside enough toward the end for you to push. Talk to your doctor about your difficulty with pain and see what he/she says would be best for you.
I was 38 when I gave birth to my last baby. And I was not up to going without pain meds. I was induced and had the epidural. It helped a lot.
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Wow, an amazing birth story, congratulations for all your hard work, I hope you're enjoying those beautiful children.
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