My Blog and Miscarriage
When I first started this blog, it was actually intended just to be a personal journal where I kept a record of all the cute things my kids did and said, crafts that I've been working on, my life as a mommy, etc.
Over time, without my expecting it, this blog has evolved into so much more.
Even though I don't post as much as I used to, this blog is still a part of my everyday life.
It began that moment of February of 2007 when something completely unexpected happened, and I had a "missed miscarriage". After the miscarriage happened, I had taken pictures of my baby and had shared in detail all of my thoughts and feelings as I was waiting for the miscarriage to happen, during the miscarriage, and afterwards. And when I had my second miscarriage three months later, I shared my thoughts and feelings, and the roller coaster ride of emotions I experienced there too.
I was amazed at how many women "came out of the woodwork", so to speak, to let me know they had had lost babies to miscarriage too. Before I had my loss, I was completely unaware of how commonly they happen, or just how much of an impact they make on a person's life.
Two weeks after my miscarriage, I felt a deep need to share the pictures of my baby with the world, so that maybe one person could see my baby's picture and see that life is precious and amazing even from the youngest stage.
I had been visiting a pro-life website for a few months (at the time), JillStanek.com, which is written by a nurse who had witnessed a baby who was born alive after a late term abortion, being taken back into a soiled utility room to die. She couldn't bear to let this little baby die like this, so she rocked the baby for 45 minutes until he died. It was a life changing moment for her. She then became a pro-life activist and was behind the "Born Alive Infants Protection Act", which was to help protect babies from such a fate again.
For some reason, even though there are many other pro-life blogs out there, I felt specifically led to send Jill the pictures of my baby, and tell her a little bit about what had happened and what I hoped she could do with the pictures.
After only a matter of hours, Jill had posted my story and pictures up on her blog. You can see the post here. She has become a good friend of mine ever since.
Months after her post went up, I started getting emails from women who had gone through a miscarriage, and were looking for advice, support, and encouragement.
Many of them said that the story about Blessing, and pictures had helped give them closure after their miscarriage. The fact that my baby's short life could be instrumental in helping other people was a big part of my own healing and closure!
I started getting emails sometimes once or twice daily regarding miscarriage.
I think the reason I was getting so many emails was because of the amount of traffic that Jill's post created. In fact, because of her, when you type "miscarriage" in google, my baby's picture is one of the first you will see! So this is how so many women have been finding my blog.
What is amazing to me is how very little information there is out there to support a woman who has had a miscarriage and needs support. I go to bookstores and see multiple books on healthy pregnancies and babies, but I don't think I've ever gone to a bookstore and found a book about pregnancy loss or healing after a miscarriage. The craziest part about this is the fact that miscarriage happens so FREQUENTLY. With it happening so often, you would think you would see more books freely available about it, but you don't. (I think this is probably at least partially due to the fact that since abortion is legal, it is assumed by some that pregnancy loss is not the big of a deal.) If you want a book like that, you are going to have to know your way around the internet and purchase a book online, or find an online discussion forum- or something like that. It shouldn't be this way.
I decided that I needed to write a book that would hopefully many of the questions that anyone has after miscarriage, give them support, advice, encouragment, and the tools they need to heal and maybe even help others in the process. I wanted to write the book that I wished that I had when I was going through miscarriage!
When I first posted about this book idea, I was surprised at the overwhelming support I received. The amount of people who were willing to contribute and share their stories, advice, and love touched me.
If it weren't for this blog, and all of the caring people who read here, I don't think I ever could have found the support I needed to write this book.
So many people have reached out to help me- and there have even been people who have offered to edit my entire book (!!), share their medical expertise (nurses and OB's), share their stories, and help me with many other aspects of the book.
I strongly feel that this is something that God wants me to do, and that is why so many things are falling into place... I never would have thought when I first started this blog, that this would have ended up being a ministry that I would be involved in. But God works in mysterious ways!
Today I am still getting emails frequently throughout the week, from women who are either going through miscarriage, or who have recently gone through one, and need support. It is my hope that eventually I will have this book completed so that I can send these women a copy of the book when they email. That would be SO wonderful!
I'm much closer to my goal now than I was a year ago. In fact, I am hoping that maybe before the baby is here, I can have it completed! I do not know yet whether that is an unrealistic goal...only time will tell.
Over time, without my expecting it, this blog has evolved into so much more.
Even though I don't post as much as I used to, this blog is still a part of my everyday life.
It began that moment of February of 2007 when something completely unexpected happened, and I had a "missed miscarriage". After the miscarriage happened, I had taken pictures of my baby and had shared in detail all of my thoughts and feelings as I was waiting for the miscarriage to happen, during the miscarriage, and afterwards. And when I had my second miscarriage three months later, I shared my thoughts and feelings, and the roller coaster ride of emotions I experienced there too.
I was amazed at how many women "came out of the woodwork", so to speak, to let me know they had had lost babies to miscarriage too. Before I had my loss, I was completely unaware of how commonly they happen, or just how much of an impact they make on a person's life.
Two weeks after my miscarriage, I felt a deep need to share the pictures of my baby with the world, so that maybe one person could see my baby's picture and see that life is precious and amazing even from the youngest stage.
I had been visiting a pro-life website for a few months (at the time), JillStanek.com, which is written by a nurse who had witnessed a baby who was born alive after a late term abortion, being taken back into a soiled utility room to die. She couldn't bear to let this little baby die like this, so she rocked the baby for 45 minutes until he died. It was a life changing moment for her. She then became a pro-life activist and was behind the "Born Alive Infants Protection Act", which was to help protect babies from such a fate again.
For some reason, even though there are many other pro-life blogs out there, I felt specifically led to send Jill the pictures of my baby, and tell her a little bit about what had happened and what I hoped she could do with the pictures.
After only a matter of hours, Jill had posted my story and pictures up on her blog. You can see the post here. She has become a good friend of mine ever since.
Months after her post went up, I started getting emails from women who had gone through a miscarriage, and were looking for advice, support, and encouragement.
Many of them said that the story about Blessing, and pictures had helped give them closure after their miscarriage. The fact that my baby's short life could be instrumental in helping other people was a big part of my own healing and closure!
I started getting emails sometimes once or twice daily regarding miscarriage.
I think the reason I was getting so many emails was because of the amount of traffic that Jill's post created. In fact, because of her, when you type "miscarriage" in google, my baby's picture is one of the first you will see! So this is how so many women have been finding my blog.
What is amazing to me is how very little information there is out there to support a woman who has had a miscarriage and needs support. I go to bookstores and see multiple books on healthy pregnancies and babies, but I don't think I've ever gone to a bookstore and found a book about pregnancy loss or healing after a miscarriage. The craziest part about this is the fact that miscarriage happens so FREQUENTLY. With it happening so often, you would think you would see more books freely available about it, but you don't. (I think this is probably at least partially due to the fact that since abortion is legal, it is assumed by some that pregnancy loss is not the big of a deal.) If you want a book like that, you are going to have to know your way around the internet and purchase a book online, or find an online discussion forum- or something like that. It shouldn't be this way.
I decided that I needed to write a book that would hopefully many of the questions that anyone has after miscarriage, give them support, advice, encouragment, and the tools they need to heal and maybe even help others in the process. I wanted to write the book that I wished that I had when I was going through miscarriage!
When I first posted about this book idea, I was surprised at the overwhelming support I received. The amount of people who were willing to contribute and share their stories, advice, and love touched me.
If it weren't for this blog, and all of the caring people who read here, I don't think I ever could have found the support I needed to write this book.
So many people have reached out to help me- and there have even been people who have offered to edit my entire book (!!), share their medical expertise (nurses and OB's), share their stories, and help me with many other aspects of the book.
I strongly feel that this is something that God wants me to do, and that is why so many things are falling into place... I never would have thought when I first started this blog, that this would have ended up being a ministry that I would be involved in. But God works in mysterious ways!
Today I am still getting emails frequently throughout the week, from women who are either going through miscarriage, or who have recently gone through one, and need support. It is my hope that eventually I will have this book completed so that I can send these women a copy of the book when they email. That would be SO wonderful!
I'm much closer to my goal now than I was a year ago. In fact, I am hoping that maybe before the baby is here, I can have it completed! I do not know yet whether that is an unrealistic goal...only time will tell.
My prayers are with you! This is such a wonderful thing that you are doing!
I don't think I ever told you that seeing the pictures of Blessing helped me in more ways than you can imagine. It is so wonderful that you have the strength, desire, and compassion to do this.
Reply to this
Valerie, that means a lot to me..thank you so much!
Reply to this
God works in a mysterious way indeed. Have you seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0AgENR1FhM
Reply to this
Nice song, I like that. Thank you for sharing, L.C.T!
Reply to this
Have you seen this? http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,571215,00.html
It's not exactly about miscarriage but I thought of you when I read it. It's an interesting story and I praise God that the woman had the courage to do something she felt strongly about. She is a model like you in my eyes. Thank you for sharing your story too!
Reply to this
Drama Mama, I saw that story and was so very encouraged to see that this woman changed her mind on life! Thanks so much for your kind words.
Reply to this
Bethany, I remember those pictures of your baby. And I want you to know that in our house we have not forgotten your baby. My dh is a war vet but it still brought tears to his eyes he was so touched by them.
And you are in our thoughts and prayers now with this new little life.
Reply to this
Thank you so much, Carol.
Reply to this
So glad to hear that you are pregnant. I too am again finally pregnant. I have had 3 miscarriages (2 in a row, but 5 years apart). They are so hard emotionally. It's been 1 1/2 years since my last. I don't know if I'll ever get over it until I have another baby. I just hope all goes well this time for me (and you as well). Thanks for sharing your miscarriage info and pics. I too have pictures of my babies. I was a little further along-I carried my babies all 15-16 weeks, but gestationally they were about 13 weeks. They really are so beautiful aren't they. I'm so glad you shared your experience. It made me feel a little less lonely.
Reply to this
Jennie, I'm so sorry to hear that you've had 3 miscarrages- They really are hard emotionally, and when you're pregnant after having multiple miscarriages, it's difficult to really enjoy your pregnancy without worrying all of the time about your baby. I hope and pray that this little baby will be okay and that you will have a healthy pregnancy all the way through. (hugs)
Reply to this
Thank you for your Blog!! I am praying for you and your precious family. Your story is so touching. thank you for sharing your journey for all to benefit from
Reply to this
Mommy2Isaac, thank you so much for the kind words!
Reply to this
Hello,
My name is Sarah and i just found out last week i have what is called a "missed miscarriage" before this i had not herd of them. i just typed in miscarriage at 7wks on answers.com and your little blessing came up. thank you so much for sharing i was praying last night and wondering what to expect when the process starts to happen and what is it going to feel like and look like? i was told my baby stopped growing at 7wks and 4days that would of been a little over 3wks ago and i am now just starting in to the miscarriage process. i was wondering if you could share if you felt the baby when you passed it? i want to know what to look for i just started peeing into a strainer today so i don't miss the baby. the doctor requested i save any tissue that i can. this is so hard to process in my "natural mind" i know the baby's spirit is with Jesus already "to be absent of the body is to be present with the Lord". its just the waiting and the inevitable that is to come. i have always had very heavy periods due to endometreosis and terrible cramps so i really don't know what to expect with what is about to happen. i have one child she is almost four and was anxiously awaiting the baby she understands we will see the baby when we get to heaven.
praising God in my storm,
thank you for all you are doing in the lives of many! i know God will continue to use you for His glory.
be blessed,
Sarah
Reply to this
Bethany,
I found your blog while looking up info on miscarriages. I am currently waiting for my miscarriage to occur. Two days ago we could not find the baby's heartbeat, and it was confirmed via sonogram yesterday that the baby is indeed gone. I am almost 18 weeks pregnant, but the baby stopped growing sometime around 14 weeks. The baby actually measures closer to 13 weeks, but we heard the heartbeat at 13 1/2 weeks so I know for sure it was alive then.
I am almost obsessed with getting some good pictures of my baby and am so glad that I found your site. Could you please give me some tips on how you were able to take such beautiful pictures?
Thanks and God Bless!
Reply to this
I wanted to thank you for sharing , and I was deeply touched. I held my daughter (or what i felt was my daughter) in my hands just lie you did your baby , and ifelt so very alone and despondednt and I thought maybe I was crazy , now i know I wasnt alone , I lost my daughter in march 06 , and it was recomended I have a d&c , I didnt feel right about it , and in mid april I found out she had a twin , and my avoidance of a D&C led to the discovery of a undersized but still living baby. My son is now 3 , and I am thankful to have seen my daughter , and for you being courageous enough to share your baby , so I dont feel quite so crazy. Thank you so much.
Reply to this
Hi Bethany. I just miscarried on Sunday 7 March 2010 at 9 weeks and 1 day. My little angel would have been born on 9 October 2010. This would have been our very first baby. It was the most painful and heart breaking thing I have ever had to go through. All I do is cry and wonder what my baby would have looked like when I lost them. You gave me the privilege of sewing a piece of my heart back together knowing that my baby had fingers, arms, legs and eyes, everything that a precious baby should look like. I know I will see my baby again but until then all I can do is keep them in my heart. Thank you again.
Reply to this
Hi Bethany,
I wanted to let you know that, from Jill's site, I found your blog and your amazing photos of your beautiful baby.
I had a missed miscarriage in April 2011, and have, this week, published a new website, offering support THROUGH the process of miscarriage. There, moms are led through specific paths of information that relate to what they know about their experience. In this path, moms are invited to see a photo of a baby the same age as theirs, if they wish. For moms whose babies are 6 weeks gestation, they will be taken to your beautiful baby. Here is a link to the whole page of babies. Please know that this page is very overwhelming to look at.http://stillbirthday.com/gestational-age-of-your-baby/ And, the page that moms of 6 week olds will be taken to is here http://stillbirthday.com/2011/07/25/6-week-gestation-baby/ where they can click "photo" to see yours. The photo of your baby will lead readers back to this page, if they click the photo. I will remove your photo immediately if you object, so just send me an email if you do. Also, there's definately a place at this site to share your story, to let mothers know that they aren't alone, and to bless even more mothers with your story. You can learn about my experience by clicking the "message from the site creator" link at the right of the page (under the listing of weeks). May this message bless you, and may you continue to be blessed in your journey of healing and growing in the Lord.
For His Glory,
Heidi Faith
Reply to this
Hello,
I went in for my routine ultrasound this past Monday where we got the bad news. I found your blog through a link a friend sent me. If you are still working on your book I would be willing to contribute. I have not miscarried yet,I'm going through early labor symptoms now. I have had two children and even with the doctors and articles on the internet I didn't know what to expect. I fully intend on cleaning up my tiny baby and photograph it as well and I was more than excited to find your photo and learn I wasn't the only one out there with this urge. I wish you luck with your publication, let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
Reply to this