Thank you for your help
I am overwhelmed by the response to my latest post requesting help for the book I'm writing. I just wanted to tell you all a big THANK YOU.
I have another question for you all, if you have time and have any information that can help.
What books helped/encouraged/inspired you, after your miscarriage? What songs comforted you?
Two books that ministered to me were:
I'll Hold You in Heaven (remembrance book) by Debbie Heydrick
The Littlest S.I.R. by Loretta Rizzo
And another that I have heard is wonderful (but haven't read it myself yet), is
Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt
If you have any information about other books which were helpful to you during your miscarriage, I will take a look at them and list them in the book as well.
I have another question for you all, if you have time and have any information that can help.
What books helped/encouraged/inspired you, after your miscarriage? What songs comforted you?
Two books that ministered to me were:
I'll Hold You in Heaven (remembrance book) by Debbie Heydrick
The Littlest S.I.R. by Loretta Rizzo
And another that I have heard is wonderful (but haven't read it myself yet), is
Empty Arms by Pam Vredevelt
If you have any information about other books which were helpful to you during your miscarriage, I will take a look at them and list them in the book as well.
There's this song, "I Would Die for That" by Kellie Coffey that is just awesome! Hope you all like it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ
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Rheanon, thank you SO much! I have been looking for this video since I heard it several months ago. It makes me cry every time I hear it. So unbelievably moving.
I will definitely include this song.
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Bethany, first of all let me thank you for mentioning my book. What an honor! I am so blessed to hear that it touched you. When writing about my loss, I hoped so deeply that my experience would some how help other women.
Songs that touch me are: Glory Baby by Watermark, Held by Natalie Grant & Homesick by Mercy Me.
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Loretta, thank you...and I think your book will touch many, many hearts.
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A friend of mine sent me a book by a woman who had had multiple miscarriages. I can't remember the title at all other than she saw a new store on her street that was a maternity shop and that gave her hope.
I also remember a part in the book where her pregnancy was actually progressing quite well. She went into labor and realized that they weren't even ready for the baby. Apparently, they never went shopping for a crib because they had been through so many miscarriages. This book was written way back in the mid-1980's. I wasn't aware of books on dealing with the emotional side of miscarriage back then. I was still very appreciative of the book my friend sent me. It was so helpful.
If anyone comes across this book, please post it!
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Kay, is this the book you are talking about?
http://www.amazon.com/Coming-Term-Uncovering-Truth-Miscarriage/dp/product-description/0618277242
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Hi Bethany!
No, this isn't the book because the one I read was written by the woman who had experienced all the miscarriages.
My friend who sent it worked for a publishing firm and often sent me books to review but this book was sent for the purpose to comfort.
I went on a search for books on miscarriage on Amazon but never found it. It's hard to get a hold of that friend now but I'll see if she remembers it.
God Bless!
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I also remember the author of this book was a DES daughter.
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Can someone tell me DES means? I tried to find it on the internet but was unsuccessful.
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JM, I looked it up, and apparently it's a miscarriage drug of some kind? Maybe Kay can help you better than I can.
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Sorry I didn't reply...I wasn't able to get back right away.
DES is diethylstilbestrol and it was given to women back in the 1960's for miscarriages.
I just saw a website for it. I haven't checked it out thoroughly but it seems to have a lot of information!
http://www.desaction.org/
Hope this helps.
Kay
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Hmm, "I Know You Were My Son" is the only song I know of that's about prenatal loss. This video for the song has some beautiful pictures:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LanUHtr3jvQ
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Amy, thank you for the song!
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I got a lot of comfort from Watermark's song "Glory Baby" after the stillbirth of my son. Another book that was helpful is: "Mommy, Please Don't Cry" by Linda Deymaz. This is the one I have: http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Please-Dont-Linda-Deymaz/dp/1885305451/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1200544090&sr=8-1, but I see there is a newer version out now that has different pictures.
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I loved Michael W. Smith's song, "Hello, Goodbye". It was written for a baby named Noah. That is one of my twins' names, so that is very special to me. I also loved Natalie Grant's “Held.” Casting Crown's, "Love Them Like Jesus" is good too.
I read a couple of books that weren't exactly on the subject of stillbirth or miscarriage, but I did get some help. They are Forgiving God: A Woman's Struggle to Understand When God Answers No by Carla Killough McClafferty, A Window to Heaven: When Children See Life in Death by Diane M. Komp, M.D., and a book on grief by Zig Ziglar (I can’t remember the title and I lent it to a man in our church who has lost his wife.)
I haven’t read, When God doesn’t Make Sense by Dobson since I lost my babies, but I read it at least three times as a teen, so I know it has helped me.
I’m sure I’ll think of others later. I may be back! Also, there were verses and poems-but that’s another category! Are you on myspace because I have a few things on my blog that might be helpful (or might not!) (My profile is private or I would just post the url.)
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This music video on Flylady is about shining your sink. However, the song that is playing touched me so much that I e-mailed Flylady about it. The lady who wrote the song wrote me and told me that she wrote it after she experienced a miscarriage. It is an very hope filled song. http://flylady.com/pages/jumpcut_video1.asp
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The book I'll hold you in Heaven is what I received and loved.
deezie
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Silent Grief by Clara Hinton
Grieving the Child I Never Knew
A Stephen Curtis Chapman song called "With Hope" that comforted me.
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Thank you!
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I just found out yesterday that my baby has died 1 week to 10 days ago. I had an abnormal AFP test so I had a Level 2 ultrasound. I am 19 weeks today.
If you remember, I had a miscarriage in April last year shortly after your miscarriage.
A song that I have found comforting today is "Trust His Heart"
Trust His Heart
All things work for our good
though sometimes we can’t see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what’s best for us;
His ways are not our own.
So, when your pathway grows dim,
and you just can’t see Him,
Remember He’s still on the throne.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand,
when you don’t see His plan,
When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.
He sees the Master plan.
He holds the future in His hands.
So don’t live as those who have no hope.
All our hope is found in Him.
We walk in present knowledge,
but He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry, He’s weaving you and me
to someday be just like Him.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don’t understand,
when you don’t see His plan,
When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYEC_XFf9Eg
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Alicia, I am so very sorry to hear this!!!! (hugs) Oh I wish I could hug you and comfort you.
Thank you so very much for the song. I will be sure to include it in the book.
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Someone already mentioned "Glory Baby." It's a tearjerker every time. It reminds me that I'm not the only one to have gone through this, but it makes me so sad to think about all the other hurting parents out there.
I received 2 books as gifts.
Teardrop Diary: A journal with poetry for healing your heart after pregnancy loss. By Erin McSparron. I found it tremendously helpful. Beyond being just a basic diary, which anyone could do with any 50 cent notebook, this book has topic starters and suggestions for writing, along with Erin's poems she wrote after her loss at 15 weeks. The back of the book has a few resource pages with websites for grief healing and ideas on how to memorialize your baby. The scriptures were all taken from NIV, but it didn't really detract from the book (I just looked them up in my good 'ole KJV).
Someone else gave me "Safe in the Arms of God: truth from heaven about the death of a child" by John MacArthur. It's more useful for someone who is unsure whether a baby who dies will go to heaven, or fears that the baby didn't have a soul or might go to hell. I already knew what the Bible has to say about this, but this book pulled the appropriate scriptures together in a cohesive way.
I had one major problem with the book: its definitively Calvinistic explanation of predestination. It wasn't just a quick mention; it was at least an entire chapter, and it was major enough that I wouldn't recommend the book to anyone for fear that they didn't know their Bibles well enough to throw out what MacArthur said that was inaccurate. I would be afraid that recommending this book would be putting my stamp of approval on Calvinism.
One good point this book brought up that I hadn't previously put together on my own is why Our Father is building "many mansions" when straight and narrow is the path, and few there will be that will find it. I just figured that over the millenia, the few that truly seek God would add up to a lot of people. MacArthur points out that it's far more likely that the many mansions mostly going to be filled with babies and children who have passed on. Think of how many miscarriages, stillbirths, and child deaths there must have been over the last 6000+ years, let alone the genocide of abortion.
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