Planning to Write a Book

It has been about 10 months since I wrote my first miscarriage post in February.  

Since then, I have had an overwhelming response to my posts about my experience.   In fact, at least every other day, I have received calls, emails, and comments on this blog, from women who have recently gone through a miscarriage, and are reaching out for help.   I spend a lot of time responding to these women each week.

Many of these women have told me that seeing the pictures of my baby, were healing to them... they have told me that it gave them confidence and a sense of closure, being able to see through the pictures that what they lost was a beautiful, precious little baby, and not simply a figment of their imagination. 

Many women have emailed me, asking me questions about how to handle the pain, what to do for memorial, what to expect during miscarriage (if they had just found out it was coming), and on and on.

Before I had my first miscarriage, I never realized just how frequently it happens to women, or how terrible of a grief that women have to bear, seemingly alone.   One thing that bothers me is that if you go into a bookstore, you will most likely not be able to find a single book about miscarriage.  Not one.    Why is that, if it happens so frequently?  That really bothers me.

The only place I've been able to find information to help with miscarriage was over the internet.  With the exception of a pamphlet that my kind doctor Xeroxed off and gave to me, everything I have found to answer my many questions about miscarriage was found on the web.

I don't think this should be the case.   I think the information should be readily available to everyone, without them having to search the internet to find it.    

I've decided that I am going to write a book about my experience, and include many other women's experiences....The book will include questions and answers about miscarriage... questions  that were difficult for me to find answers to while I was going through my first miscarriage, and questions that I have been asked of me over time.     I hope it will be a great resource to help women to heal. 

What I would like for you to do, if you have any information about miscarriage, if you have a story about your own miscarriage, if you have questions and answers that you'd like to send my way, I would greatly appreciate it.  

I will probably be illustrating the book with drawings....and I could use some reference pictures.   If any of you have pictures (that you hold the copyright to),  that you would be willing to let me use in the book, please send it my way, and I will try to include it if possible.

Questions that I have compiled (most of them have been asked of me) to answer so far include ones like these (if you have any insight that you would like to help with on these questions, I will most likely be able to use it for the book):

*I feel like the pain will never end.  How long can I expect to feel this way?

*I don't feel supported by my husband.

*I feel guilty because I was not able to find my baby.

*In what ways can I memorialize my baby?

*Am I crazy for feeling so bad about my miscarriage?

*How can I help others who are going through this pain?

*Are there books that you would recommend for me during this time?

*No one understands how I feel.

*Are there any songs I can listen to for comfort?

*How will I be able to tell all the people I know that I have lost the baby?

So if any of you have any experience with this, and could help me out with this book, I would greatly appreciate it.  I do hope that this will all come together soon. 

Please send any information you have to mail(at)sketchesbybethany.net .

 

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  • 12/12/2007 10:44 AM Valerie wrote:
    WOOHOO!

    What a wonderful thing to do! It is a great thing when someone can take a horrible experience into something good and positive to help others.

    You're awesome!
    Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 12:40 PM shelly wrote:
    I will help in any way you need. I have ultrasound pictures that I can copy and send to you...I would assume I hold the copyright? I also have the poem I wrote to my baby the night before the D&C. I hope you include a chapter in the book about D&C's and what women can expect to be told about them and what one actually experiences. They for me were very different. I applaud you and will pray for the time and energy to accomplish this. I wish I would have had something like this to guide me through. Bethany, God must be so proud of you. You truly give to others without a second thought. What a testimony you are to God's love. Have a blessed day. shelly
    Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 12:43 PM shelly wrote:
    One question I thought of would be to explain how one has to fill out a death certificate (or at least I did) and how unexpected that was. My emotions just swirled when I had to do this. If one does not lose a baby then how come we have to fill out a death certificate?
    Reply to this
    1. 12/12/2007 9:09 PM Sarah wrote:
      Shelly, in my state (WV), I didn't get a death certificate. Only mothers who lose a baby at 20 weeks or further can have the right to their baby's remains for burial or other services, and only those babies who make it to 20 weeks are recognized as a life and a death. A mother who loses her baby at 19 weeks has a "non-viable fetus," a "product of conception," as does a mother at 15 weeks (as I was). It's so wrong. Everything about it is so wrong.

      This dichotomy between the way women are treated by the larger percentage of the medical community, and the reality of life beginning at conception, is something that needs addressed on a large scale, Bethany. I'm sure you have heard women say, as I have heard, "My doctor told me that it wasn't really a baby, so I don't know what to believe. I don't know why I'm so sad." And similar things.
      Reply to this
      1. 12/12/2007 9:34 PM JM wrote:
        Shelly,

        Thats horrible. You know what I think. I think that if a mother or father wants a death certificate then they should get one. If they don't want one, then they don't have to get one.
        Reply to this
        1. 12/13/2007 10:02 AM Sarah wrote:
          JM, I agree. The worst of it, IMO, is that the parents don't get to bury their baby or have the body for whatever ceremony may give them closure, or even SEE the body, if the mom has to have a D&C. I had to fight to get my baby's remains, and I remain convinced that it's a miracle that I was able to obtain them. Everyone, including the OB drs and the head of OB who performed the surgery, told me that my "product of conception" was medical waste and a biohazard that would be sent to pathology then incinerated.

          Many mothers who have also suffered miscarriage then D&C have told me they wished they could have seen, held, and/or buried their baby for closure. Again, whose right is is to set an arbitrary number (*20* weeks, not 19) on which mothers may bury their baby's remains?
          Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 1:04 PM JM wrote:
    Bethany,

    I wish you the best of luck as you do this. I am sure it will be a long and difficult process. GOOD LUCK!
    Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 1:27 PM Ashley wrote:
    Bethany, I have wanted to share my story. I can't think of anywhere else such a story would be appreciated! I will try to write everything I have held in my heart so long and email it to you soon so you can see if it is appropriate or not.

    This is such a lovely idea! What kind of pictures are you talking about? I don't have any of my babies but I wonder if I have anything else you could use? I have a lovely quilt that was made for me by a friend as a memorial.

    Blessings to you!
    Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 1:55 PM Bethany wrote:
    Valerie, and JM, thank you so much for the encouragement!

    I will help in any way you need. I have ultrasound pictures that I can copy and send to you...I would assume I hold the copyright? I also have the poem I wrote to my baby the night before the D&C. I hope you include a chapter in the book about D&C's and what women can expect to be told about them and what one actually experiences. They for me were very different. I applaud you and will pray for the time and energy to accomplish this. I wish I would have had something like this to guide me through. Bethany, God must be so proud of you. You truly give to others without a second thought. What a testimony you are to God's love. Have a blessed day. shelly

    Thank you so much for your help, Shelly! I like the idea of talking about the D &C...thank you!   And I can most certainly use your poem and story.
    I may be able to use the ultrasound picture too...you are more than welcome to send it. I'm sorry I wasn't very clear when I asked for pictures- I wasn't exactly sure how to specify since there are so many things that could be relevant to this issue. I was actually sort of looking for reference material for drawings... for example, a mother kissing her baby...a baby hand and a mommy hand together, a mother holding onto an empty cradle, a woman crying, a woman talking to other women, a woman being consoled by her husband, etc....just different things that might be of relevance to the miscarriage issue. And yes, I think that ultrasound photos might work well in the book too. So definitely send them on and if I can use them, I will.

    One question I thought of would be to explain how one has to fill out a death certificate (or at least I did) and how unexpected that was. My emotions just swirled when I had to do this. If one does not lose a baby then how come we have to fill out a death certificate?

    Shelly, I actually have no experience in this but since you did, can you maybe send me a little information about your feelings on it and how it was presented... was it because there was a D & C performed?


    Bethany, I have wanted to share my story. I can't think of anywhere else such a story would be appreciated! I will try to write everything I have held in my heart so long and email it to you soon so you can see if it is appropriate or not.

    Thank you so much, Ashley! I can certainly use your story and thank you so much for being willing to share it.

    This is such a lovely idea! What kind of pictures are you talking about? I don't have any of my babies but I wonder if I have anything else you could use? I have a lovely quilt that was made for me by a friend as a memorial.

    Yes, send it over to me. I may be able to find a way to work it in. I can't promise that everything will be put in, but I will try to put in anything I can.


    Blessings to you!


    You too!
    Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 2:06 PM Stephanie@inspired wrote:
    What a wonderful idea for a book. I have never had a miscarriage, but have had several friends go through it. It happens so often, yet women feel so alone. We just discussed this in our Sunday School class. One of the ladies had a friend just miscarry. She said that of everyone, this woman was the only one who did NOT say "it is all part of God's plan". She said that she understands that, but right now she doesn't want to hear it. I cannot imagine the pain of this, but I do understand the need a listening ear.

    Sorry to ramble, I just felt lead by your wonderful post to share.

    Stephanie@inpsired
    Reply to this
    1. 12/12/2007 9:17 PM Sarah wrote:
      This reminds me, I found this site recently which outlines what not to say to a grieving mom.


      http://www.babysteps.com/rrddmn.html#dos

      On the other hand, I don't know how much use that can be when your book will be directed toward the grieving mother, not toward her support system, although I did use online lists like this to point at people who told me that I shouldn't have been grieving like that for so long. Lists like this validated my sanity.
      Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 2:45 PM Maryanne wrote:
    Bethany,

    I also too also stumbled across your blog throughout my seemingly endless search for answers about my own miscarriage 11 days ago. The pictures of your precious Blessing made it easier for me to understand why I was feeling such a tremendous grief about my miscarriage. Even though so tiny, a baby was lost, it feels just as if one of my other children had passed away. Jesus is the only reason I am able to go on. It is His perfect strength, not mine. Our babies all had purpose. and knowing that brings much comfort. Your idea for a book is fantastic, I too have seen just how limited the resources are for us who have experienced this loss. Thank you for being a strong Christian role model for woman.
    Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 9:04 PM Sarah wrote:
    You can use anything I have written in my blog, and any photos that I have posted that you might find appropriate. (If you need the ones I have in my PhotoBucket account, I can send them to you again.)

    If you would be interested in reading my private journal, I'd be glad to let you read it, but I'd be scared to death if it might get lost in the mail. I have the Teardrop Diary (for mothers who have experienced pregnancy loss) and I have nearly filled it. Are you making a trip to WV any time soon? That would make things so much easier.

    Let me know if there's any aspect of anything I've written on that you would like me to expound on, if it could help you compile a book.
    Reply to this
  • 12/12/2007 9:50 PM JM wrote:
    I am unsure if this story is 100% true or not but...
    My cousin found out she was pregnant about a month ago. It really scared her because she is on medication that causes birth defects. She was told that when she wanted to start a family to see her doctor and they would find a different medication while she was trying to get pregnant and while she was pregnant. She was terrified that her child would have some type of birth defect. A few weeks later she miscarried. (this next part is the part I don't know if I believe) From the story I heard her mother said to her "well you must be a little relieved" I just don't know how anyone could say that to someone who just miscarried. I could never imagine my aunt saying this. I may have misheard the story, or I maybe through the process of me finally hearing the story it got a little twisted. I am not sure. I think a chapter about what to say to people who have miscarried would be good.
    Reply to this
  • 12/13/2007 9:22 AM Bethany wrote:
    Stephanie, thank you for your comment. I can certainly understand why she did not want to hear those words at that time. There is a time and place for everything. It's very hard to hear those words right after a loss. Very hard. I hope she is feeling better since then.

    Maryanne, I am so sorry for your loss. I am so thankful to hear that the pictures were able to comfort you.
    If you stick around long enough, when the book is completed I will be happy to mail you one.

    Thank you, Sarah, for your offer to let me use photos on your website, and your story!

    About your private journal... Maybe you could Xerox off the pages and send it to me? I could pay you for the time and effort, and the copies. I probably won't be going to West Virginia any time soon and I would hate for your journal to get lost in the mail.

    Sarah, I agree. It is so sad that mothers are insulted by doctors saying that their miscarriage is a mere "product of conception", or "tissue".... it is heartbreaking that abortion is so prominent in our society that many doctors genuinely don't care or understand what a mother goes through during a miscarriage, emotionally.

    Also thank you all for the idea of including a "what not to say to a grieving mom"...I think that will be very beneficial. I remember how much that list helped validate my feelings.

    JM, I think it could have easily happened. I have heard several accounts of families saying hurtful things like that. I heard of a husband telling his wife to just "get over it already", and a mom saying, "Well, at least you'll keep your figure!", or "Well you already have enough kids anyway. It was for the best".
    Very hurtful...I think that many times tehy really don't even understand how hurtful their words are.
    Reply to this
    1. 12/13/2007 10:04 AM Sarah wrote:
      Duh. Photocopying. I hear it's a great invention. (Why didn't I think of that?) DH might be able to do it for us at his office, if I provide the paper. I'll check into it.

      I've been wanting for someone to read it, someone safe. DH won't read it (I've asked him to).
      Reply to this
    2. 12/13/2007 10:09 AM Sarah wrote:
      Also, the other aspect of a "what not to say to a grieving mom" section of the book is that it will give a warning of what to expect to hear from well meaning friends & family. When I first m/c'ed, a Christian friend who is a pastor's wife told me that, since she has a wonderful church family, she thought she would get awesome support from them. Instead, the things they said were consistently hurtful, and she wasn't supported at all. She said that it helped her lean on Jesus all the more b/c he was the only One who never left her and never let her down. It also helped her come to terms with the fallibility of Christians. Sometimes we set unrealistic and unattainable expectations on our brothers and sisters in Christ.

      Hearing this from her, especially since I heard it before most of the onslaught of negative comments came, helped me understand that it's not my fault that they said these things. All those things are common. To some degree, it gave me peace about it, even though it's still awful to hear such nasty things.
      Reply to this
  • 12/13/2007 12:03 PM Vicky wrote:
    Good for you, Bethany! I think that is a very courageous thing to do - not only for you, but for other women out there searching for information, answers to their questions, and closure on a very painful and emotional experience. I can't add anything to the book, but I just wanted to cheer you on.
    BTW, I looked at *all* the pictures of Blessing and they are so beautiful!! I'd only looked at the hands before, but I decided I wanted to see them all - you did a great job, and I was blessed to see them. Thank you for sharing!
    Reply to this
  • 12/13/2007 3:31 PM Leah wrote:
    Hi Bethany,
    I too had a miscarriage in 2001. It was so painful. I felt so alone and sad. If you need an interview for the book I can tell you my experience. I think for me it would have been very helpful if there was a book I could read to comfort me at that horrible time in my life.
    Reply to this
  • 12/13/2007 4:00 PM JM wrote:
    Bethany,
    Yeah I suppose it could happen. I guess when my mom told me that a red flag went up as a huge no-no. perhaps it was because I have indeed been reading your blog for a few months now and I know how difficult it was for you. But I would never say that.
    Reply to this
  • 12/13/2007 6:45 PM shelly wrote:
    Bethany,
    I just sent you a private message...shelly
    Reply to this
  • 12/14/2007 9:36 AM Bethany wrote:
    Sarah, do you need my address? I can send it to you asap.

    Vicky, thank you so much for the encouragement.

    Leah, I sent you an email. Let me know if it doesn't get to you.

    Shelly, I replied to your email last night. Please let me know if anything happens. I am praying for you.
    Reply to this
    1. 12/15/2007 11:49 AM Sarah wrote:
      Bethany, I found your address on your Precious Infants/Friendly Faces profile.
      Reply to this
  • 12/14/2007 11:33 AM Autumn wrote:
    Bethany,
    I think this would be a great song that you could add. And I'm sure you were able to contact Beverly Mitchell, she would allow you to use it in your book.(as far as referencing)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSCHJlC77Rw&feature=related
    Reply to this
    1. 12/15/2007 11:46 AM Sarah wrote:
      Autumn's comment made me think of 2 things.

      1. The song "Glory Baby." I don't know who has the copyright to it, but it might be a good one to inquire about the copyright to put the lyrics in the book.

      Here's one version of it.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wH5n5ikNgA

      and the lyrics:

      http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/watermark/glory-baby.html

      2. What about having a print version of your book AND distributing it as a downloadable eBook? This is really popular now, and it would increase accessibility to your book without any extra overhead. It makes it easy for more families to afford, is instant (they don't have to wait for a book to ship), and you can distribute an unlimited number of them without worrying about the physical details of printing. I've seen sites that offer eBooks which accept payment (often by PayPal) then the site automatically e-mails the eBook to the customer as soon as the PayPal payment completes.
      Reply to this
  • 12/14/2007 2:45 PM Sheila wrote:
    I have a poem that I wrote to the baby that I lost. It has been almost 6 years now and I have a had a VERY active daughter that is almost 4yrs since that time. I would love to share it with you and if you have the desire to publish it that would be great. I too think that there is not enough support out there for women who miscarry and it can be such a devastating loss. Good for you, for trying to give comfort to those who really need it during their grief.

    Thank you,
    Sheila
    Reply to this
  • 12/14/2007 8:42 PM Mommy, the Human Napkin wrote:
    Bethany,
    I think this is an awesome idea! When I went through my miscarriage, the only helpful info I was able to find was on the internet, as well. I would have loved to pick up a book on the subject but couldn't find any. I'll be writing up my story and I'll email it to you as soon as I get it done.

    Thank you so much for doing this! I think there's a great need, and I think you will do a great job filling that need.
    Reply to this
  • 12/15/2007 7:57 AM Bethany wrote:
    Mommy the Human Napkin,
    (by the way, what is your name? Sorry to keep calling you by your blog name)

    I will be looking forward to getting your email!...thank you so much for helping me out with your story. It will be so helpful. (hugs)

    Shiela and Autumn, I emailed you.
    Reply to this
  • 12/15/2007 11:49 PM Ginny wrote:
    I feel pretty sad reading all of these posts. I didn't read many of them because ones that I did read made me feel terriblly sad.
    I have had two books about pregnancy loss. They must have been printed in the 1980's because I had them when I was going through things. If I still had them I'd send them to you

    I do think that you should write your book. I have sonograms of the baby I lost at 17 weeks. And of course there is Brian's picture which you've seen. Perhaps I could send you the description of my feelings and how we all reacted when Brian died that I wrote 17 years ago.
    But, Brian is in heaven, and I am going to think about joining him there one day.

    ginny
    Reply to this
  • 12/17/2007 9:37 AM Bethany wrote:
    Ginny, yes, you could definitely send that information to me...I can use it...I would also use that picture (or the drawing of the picture), with your permission,to go along with your story. (hugs)

    I'm sorry that these posts are bringing up old emotions for you (hugs)

    Hope you will have a good day today!

    Sarah, thank you so much for the extra information about the songs...I can use them!!
    Reply to this
  • 12/21/2007 3:22 PM Lindsey wrote:
    I think writing a book is such a great idea. I feel the same way..I was given one small pamphlet with "miscarrige" circled on it and that was all I was sent home with. I too have found all my own anwsers and own info over the net. A miscarriage makes your experience all kinds of different emotions. One of them is being alone, and being singled out. I really think it would help to have a book with other peoples experiences in it. Just to know you are NOT alone helps a great deal. I am one of those people who your picture has helped. You are a strong, amazing person.
    Reply to this
    1. 12/21/2007 3:25 PM Lindsey wrote:
      I too would be willing to help in any way that I can. I also have several ultrasound pictures...If you want to write something about women having a natural miscarrige and women having a D&C...I had to undergo a D&c and will be more than willing to share my experience...
      Reply to this
  • 12/26/2007 12:51 AM Linda wrote:
    That is wonderful that you are planning to write a book. I have that on my "must do" list, but I am not ready (don't know if I'll ever be, really).

    I am so angry because some of the few books available throw women who aborted their babies in with mothers who lost their babies through miscarriage-so insensitive!!!!!!

    I lost twin boys at 20 weeks and (in my heart, I feel), a baby girl at 10 1/2 weeks. My mother practically argued with me that it was good that I didn't have to carry my littlest baby as long as I did my sons. (She never experienced miscarriage.)

    It is harder for me, that I didn't have that time with my 3rd baby. I don't know for sure the sex of my baby. I never got to hold "her" or name her. I don't have a grave to visit. The list goes on. I feel that I have experienced 2 different things. Losing my baby earlier in the pregnancy was not easier at all. I feel that I lost even more!
    Reply to this
  • 12/27/2007 11:37 AM Bethany wrote:
    Linda, I am so very sorry for your loss! I cannot even imagine how difficult that must have been for you. And I am sure that your mother meant well but I know those words must have cut deeply. People so many times say such hurtful things without even realizing it.

    And I completely agree about the books mixing abortion in with miscarriage...it is very insensitive to those of us who lost babies not of our own choosing!

    About not being able to see your third baby...I can relate to that too. I thought that maybe a second miscarriage should be easier, not harder...but with my first miscarriage, at least I was able to see the baby, and have some sort of closure there. With my second, it was a "chemical pregnancy" so it happened about the time my first period would have been. I had only known my baby was there for 2 weeks (and it was a miracle that I even knew that long).
    The hardest part was not knowing anything about the baby...was it a boy or a girl? What did it look like? What would he or she have been like?
    It definitely wasn't easier with it being earlier on...it actually was more difficult for me to cope with my emotions after the second one. I remember crying every day for a very long time. So I just wanted to say that to say I understand what you're saying and agree.

    I really hope that you have found some peace through these times of grief, and I can definitely use anything that you are willing to share for the book. Thank you so much for your comments.
    Reply to this
  • 12/27/2007 11:41 AM Bethany wrote:
    Lindsey, I can definitely use anything you are willing to send to me. Thank you so much for offering to help and thank you for your kind words.
    Reply to this
  • 1/3/2008 10:37 PM Carla Stream wrote:
    Hi Bethany,
    I just wanted to let you know I checked out your blog today and your pictures of Blessing are so precious! I was 10 weeks along and held my baby in my hand. I am so glad I did!! Thank you for sharing your Blessing!
    I am sorry that authors put women who have aborted with those who have miscarriages. I have had both. I'll Hold You in Heaven spoke to me about all of my losses.
    Also, thank you for your comments on Jill's Blog. My head is usually spinning on most of the posts and I need to take a blog break!!
    One more thing, you are an amazing artist!!!
    Reply to this
    1. 1/4/2008 12:00 PM Bethany wrote:
      Carla, thank you so much for your kind words. The I'll Hold You in Heaven (the edition that is a "remembrance book") is one of the books I most highly recommend to everyone when they've had miscarriages. I do not think that version of the book actually deals with abortion (I could be wrong, but i forget) but still has the same message about dealing with the loss of a child. A dear friend gave me that book after I had a miscarriage, and it was so helpful to me.

      I actually give out the version you are speaking of (I'll hold you in Heaven) at our CPC where I volunteer, as it is very comforting to those who have had abortions, because it does deal with them. I didn't know there were two different versions of the book until recently!

      You held your baby in your hand too..what a blessing. Is this part of what turned you from pro-choice to pro-life? I hope I am not being too nosy by asking but I do have very much curiosity about it.

      I'm very sorry for the really rude comments you've gotten from the pro-abortion side at Jill's site. I'd ban them if it were up to me. Admitting that women feel pain after abortion would be too much for them. They are so afraid of losing their battle if they give in and admit there is such a thing as PAS. They have hurt so many women by their inability to admit the truth. Losing a child at ANY stage hurts greatly, no matter whether it was intentional or unintentional...

      Thank you so much for the kind words about my artwork~ I hope you have a wonderful day. (by the way, if you have a story about your miscarriage that you'd like to share for the book, I would be honored to use it)
      Reply to this
  • 1/5/2008 9:47 PM Carla Stream wrote:
    Hi Bethany,
    My miscarriage is a very pivotal point for me. I was 10 weeks along when I had the abortion and 10 weeks when I had the miscarriage. Only God could have orchestrated that I see with my own eyes MY BABY. I started questioning a lot of things after that. I named my baby Aubrey and have done much healing from her death. The baby I held in my hand was Jamie.

    When I had my second miscarriage it all came out at once and I put it in the refrigerator. I didn't know what to do with it really. Ok. I have NEVER told anyone this......I really wanted to cut open the sac and see my baby. Baby Lee.
    The urge to hold him was so strong but I felt so crazy. ?!
    I just took down their little stockings.
    I love Jill's blog. Everyone there has their own "way" about them. Some are more spiritual and compassionate, others are all facts and figures and others are so angry and mean. I need to develop a tougher skin. I do want to know how the other side thinks but sometimes it's frightening, ya know??
    If you want to read my whole abortion story it's in the right sidebar of my blog. I poured my heart out and the response from it was so awesome. It was not easy to do but worth it. A blogfriend I had known for awhile confided in me that she had an abortion at the same place I did! I would never have known.

    Anyway, thanks for listening!!! You are a very special person!
    Reply to this
    1. 1/7/2008 12:10 PM Bethany wrote:
      Carla, I haven't posted it publicly before either, but I also didn't know what to do with my baby after the miscarriage happened. Before I went to bed the night that the baby came out, I put him/her in a box in the refrigerator. I wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't until the next day that I put the baby in a ziplock bag of water and then took all of the pictures that you can see on this site.
      My baby came out without a sac...the sac came later. I don't know how they got separated. Everyone else I have talked to has said that theirs came in the sac, as you have said.
      Somehow, the very first thing that came out was the baby, then everything else later. I remember what a surreal experience it was holding the baby and thinking, wow, this is real. This is my baby. It was difficult to comprehend how something so little could be so complete and beautiful, and human.

      I agree with you about the posters on the blog. Some are so wonderful, and compassionate, and others are just plain evil. It is sometimes so much easier to just read the conversation than to be part of it. I have been part of abortion debates now for years so I have gotten a little tougher skin than I used to have.
      I will be sure to look at your story in your blog. Thank you so much for taking the time to be here, and I hope you will have a blessed week (you are a special person too!)
      Reply to this
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    We know that sometimes the tests are wrong and that the medical personnel may be wrong but when the diagnosis is correct, it is a devastating blow.

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    Love and prayers,
    Kay
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