Can you believe it?
Well, I got the ultrasound today. Guess what I know?
Bingo.
I know no more than I did when I walked in the door to the doctor.
But you know what.... I think I have lost the highly intense emotional state I was in before (at least right now). (The other day i couldn't even walk around for 3 seconds without my eyes brimming with tears).
I don't know if I have just numbed myself down or what, but right now, I am at peace about it. I don't know if I'm pregnant...I don't know if I'm not. I don't know if I was pregnant and miscarried, and I don't know if I miscarried one and there's another one still there. But right now, I just feel like, I have to find some way to cope and obviously I'm not going to get answers right away, so I'm going to have to deal with it.
The lady who did the ultrasound told me that she could see the uterus, and she showed me what she said was the center of the uterus. She said this is what it looks like usually before you start to see something in pregnancy, and she said that it looked good, and there didn't appear to be anything wrong...but she didn't see a sac, and she didnt see a baby...she didn't see anything. She said that I was still so early that this didn't bother her. She said it didn't necessarily mean that I am not pregnant. I wasn't so sure.
My doctor then told me that they would take some more blood and do some tests on it...and if the levels have gone up, I most likely could still be pregnant. If they've gone down though, she said, unfortunately we both know what that means. She said that the numbers have been confusing, and seeing the ultrasound makes it harder to know for certain what's going on, at least until we see the HcG levels again.
I asked if I could get the levels today possibly...she said yes, and the assistant there told me to call at 4:30, and they should have them in by then. Well, I called at 4:40, and they still didn't have them in. But they told me that they will call me tonight with the results. So tonight, hopefully I will have an update, one way or the other.
I'll be sure to update this post as soon as I know.
Bingo.
I know no more than I did when I walked in the door to the doctor.
But you know what.... I think I have lost the highly intense emotional state I was in before (at least right now). (The other day i couldn't even walk around for 3 seconds without my eyes brimming with tears).
I don't know if I have just numbed myself down or what, but right now, I am at peace about it. I don't know if I'm pregnant...I don't know if I'm not. I don't know if I was pregnant and miscarried, and I don't know if I miscarried one and there's another one still there. But right now, I just feel like, I have to find some way to cope and obviously I'm not going to get answers right away, so I'm going to have to deal with it.
The lady who did the ultrasound told me that she could see the uterus, and she showed me what she said was the center of the uterus. She said this is what it looks like usually before you start to see something in pregnancy, and she said that it looked good, and there didn't appear to be anything wrong...but she didn't see a sac, and she didnt see a baby...she didn't see anything. She said that I was still so early that this didn't bother her. She said it didn't necessarily mean that I am not pregnant. I wasn't so sure.
My doctor then told me that they would take some more blood and do some tests on it...and if the levels have gone up, I most likely could still be pregnant. If they've gone down though, she said, unfortunately we both know what that means. She said that the numbers have been confusing, and seeing the ultrasound makes it harder to know for certain what's going on, at least until we see the HcG levels again.
I asked if I could get the levels today possibly...she said yes, and the assistant there told me to call at 4:30, and they should have them in by then. Well, I called at 4:40, and they still didn't have them in. But they told me that they will call me tonight with the results. So tonight, hopefully I will have an update, one way or the other.
I'll be sure to update this post as soon as I know.
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