My baby's life was not in vain
Today, I went to the local pregnancy crisis center, and I asked them if
they could possibly use the pictures of my baby.. I wondered if there was any way it could help the pro-life cause. There are about a dozen of
the pictures, and I put all of the best ones on a CD...one of them with a Bible
verse on it (Psalm 139: 13-16).
The woman at the pregnancy center almost cried when she saw the pictures...she gave me a hug, and said they could definitely use them...in fact, she wanted to know if it might be ok for her to use the pictures when she goes to speak at a College soon. She gave me a little pin to wear on my shirt...it is a tiny gold replica of baby feet. They are made to be the exact size of the baby feet of a 10 week old unborn child. They are beautiful.
She told that she was sorry for my loss, she knew it had to be hard....and she wondered what made me decide to come out and bring the pictures. I told her that it's been very hard dealing with the miscarriage, but I felt that if something good can come out of it, I could feel like my baby had not died in vain.
If my baby's loss can be used to prevent other babies from dying, that makes it all worth the pain I've gone through. I think most people are not aware of how real babies are, even from the beginning, and sometimes textbook pictures aren't enough to help people really understand the reality of life in the womb. I think that by women who are considering abortion, seeing pictures that are actually real and personal....I think that might have more impact than other pictures might have. At least I hope that it would.
The woman at the pregnancy center almost cried when she saw the pictures...she gave me a hug, and said they could definitely use them...in fact, she wanted to know if it might be ok for her to use the pictures when she goes to speak at a College soon. She gave me a little pin to wear on my shirt...it is a tiny gold replica of baby feet. They are made to be the exact size of the baby feet of a 10 week old unborn child. They are beautiful.
She told that she was sorry for my loss, she knew it had to be hard....and she wondered what made me decide to come out and bring the pictures. I told her that it's been very hard dealing with the miscarriage, but I felt that if something good can come out of it, I could feel like my baby had not died in vain.
If my baby's loss can be used to prevent other babies from dying, that makes it all worth the pain I've gone through. I think most people are not aware of how real babies are, even from the beginning, and sometimes textbook pictures aren't enough to help people really understand the reality of life in the womb. I think that by women who are considering abortion, seeing pictures that are actually real and personal....I think that might have more impact than other pictures might have. At least I hope that it would.
Great idea Bethany, you are brave to do that. A REAL picture will surely have an impact on people.
jennifer
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What a wonderful thing to do. I pray that so much good will come of it and that the lives of many babies will be saved. You have a great heart. I have a set of the feet pins given to me almost 10 1/2 years ago when my daughter passed away. You are still in my prayers each day. Take care.
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Bethany, that is such a sweet, wonderful thing you did!
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Oh it is so comforting to hear your responses. I know this was the right thing to do, but I was not sure how others would take it. It's so good to know that others understand where I am coming from and why I wanted to do this.
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Hi Bethany,
I'm actually de lurking myself LOL.
I have been reading your blog for about a month and enjoy it very much. I actually found you thru Prairie Homemaker. The whole story about the baby is amazing.
Hugs I've been there.
Come on over and say Hi.
Jennifer
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That is such an amazing idea! I'm so glad you did that, Bethany. I just know your babies pictures will touch some hearts and even change ideas and actions of others! Awesome stuff
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Jennifer, thank you for de-lurking!
Samantha, thank you so much!
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Hi Bethany,
your baby is very beautiful.
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Sara, thank you so much.((((hugs))))
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((((hugs)))))
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Wanting to see pictures of a "real" baby is what prompted me to do a Google search when I found your photos. I had seen plenty of "textbook" pics of week-by-week development, but I wanted to see a *real* baby. It just seemed wrong to me that my baby came out so... how to say it... well, mangled after the D&C. I wish I could have seen him whole like you did with Blessing, but my medical circumstances were different (although I frequently question whether I made the right decision). I had carried him dead inside me for 6 weeks already without knowing, and not a single outward symptom of miscarriage. (My hCg levels were over 19,000 when I had my blood drawn before the D&C and my progesterone was over 30.)
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I am so thankful that the pictures were able to help you. I have thought about perhaps making a website where women can share their pictures of their miscarried babies, without having to feel ashamed for it, and where they can share their stories, and this could probably be a great ministry to other women who have dealt with micarriages. They need to see what to expect, what they may have missed, etc. I remember when I was still carrying my baby before he or she miscarried, I was searching the internet all over, wanting desperately to find a "real" picture. I never found it! That is one reason I felt I must have pictures of mine, so that I could help others see what they need to see, to help them find closure, etc..
I'm so sorry about the situation you had to deal with (hugs)
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WOW! What a great idea! I came to a site from another blog that linked to your pictures. I think it would be wonderful if your pictures could be easily made available to ALL Crisis Pregnancy Centers. Would you be willing to let my husband make a website with them? Please e-mail me.
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Hi Bethany
I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant, and I found your article on Jill's website totally by accident. Can I first of all say that your bravery and honesty in dealing with your baby's death is inspiring. This is my first baby, and everything is still scary and nerve wracking. You give me the confidence to be a strong mummy for my baby. Although the baby wasnt planned, the question of abortion had never passed my mind. I couldnt bring myself to do anything so heartless and cruel. I think you are so brave to help mothers who are carrying or who have lost their babies, and the photos of your beautiful child can only underline the way I feel about my own. I would do anything for her, and if nothing else, your story has touched me, and underlined just how fragile and precious life is, and how important my job as a protector is to my little girl. Thank you so much for your generosity in helping others, despite your loss and grief. Your story is truly amazing, as is the little life that was lost. You have clarified to me, at least, just how well developed babies are from such a young age, and i think this is important for any young or new mums out there. The decision to end a perfect and tiny life like this is often too easy because it doesnt fit with someone's lifestyle or career plan. Not many people (like yourself) have the choice. Your baby's beauty is what drew me to read the article about the photograph I saw when looking for baby images for inspiration. And I found it in the most unexpected place. Thank you so much for everything that you are doing and I wish you the very best of luck with lots of love from across the water. I hope one day that I can be as strong a mummy as you have proved you are, and be able to offer myself in such a generous and selfless way. You are an inspiration to me and other first time mums like me. Thank you so much for dispelling the natural fears we had about our soon to be first child. Nothing is more pure or priceless than the lives of our children. You are an amazing person, Bethany, and I feel that the help you are doing on behalf of your beautiful baby will never be in vain. Thank you so much. x x x Lots of love from Bethany, John and Bump (soon to be known as Thalia) x x x
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