Happy to be called "Mommy"

Love Debt

I was listening to a message by Voddie Baucham tonight.  It is a sermon called, "Love Debt".  During the message, I was convicted of a sin I have ignored or somehow missed for a long time. 

I realized that there are some people I have intentionally withheld my love from over the years.  Please note that I am not talking about society's idea of love, but the unconditional love that stems from Christ.  

There are some people in my life that I suppose that I "gave up" on long ago, thinking to myself, "What's the point?", because every time I reached out to treat them with kindness or love, they would not return that love or treat me in the same manner.    (In fact, sometimes these people took advantage of my love and treated me badly in return).    I guess I justified my wrongdoing of withholding love by telling myself that there was no point in even trying anymore because they obviously didn't care...so why should I?

I am starting to realize that my problem was that my motives in loving these people was wrong.  The very reason that I chose to show them love in the first place was tainted with sin.   It was manipulative behavior and was not love.  The reason that I chose to love them was that I was expecting something in return.    I didn't love unselfishly. I expected to be loved back.  

By the world's standards, this isn't such a ridiculous idea to expect this.  But from a Biblical standard, it is not the way we should love, because it is not the way Christ loves us.

Christ loved us even "while we were yet sinners".  He died for us while we were still His enemies.   

What if Christ had loved me the same way I "love" my neighbor- with conditions?
He certainly would not have suffered, bled, and died for such a person as I.    I sin against Him every day...yet every day, He shows me unconditional love.     Why would He do that if love is something which requires that conditions be met first? 

Here is the Biblical definition of love:

Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 
Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things. 
Love never ends.
1 Cor 13:4-8

Ouch.  By this definition, I fall so short of truly loving so many people.

If I have ever felt irritable or resentful of someone, I am not loving them.
If I am ever arrogant in my heart towards another person...I am not loving them.
If I am not loving my neighbor, I am sinning. I should repent.

Let me clarify that loving them does not mean letting them do wrong things without speaking up about it and letting them know that they are wrong. 

It simply means that we choose to love them (see the definition above) because they are a human being created in God's image, and we owe them a love debt.    We owe them love because we are no better than they, no matter what sins they have committed. 

Even if they are not a Christian, we should love them, perhaps even all the more...because we were once as they were and the only thing that separates us is not that we are better than them, but that we have been given a gift from God-  undeserved forgiveness.  

We should want that for them more than anything and should never arrogantly believe it is something that we accomplished by our own might or goodness.   None of us pursues God....  It is God who draws us to Him.  We should pray for this person and seek that God would draw them to Him as well.

So this is what I was convicted about tonight and I wanted to share my thoughts.  

Here is the sermon, if you would like to listen as well:




My Second Hobbes Toy

I was asked by someone who saw my previous Hobbes Toy (from the comics, Calvin and Hobbes) if I would sew one for her.  I have not taken the time to sew in years, but made a pattern up and got to work.  The toy ended up looking cute!  I hope I can make another one soon for my family, because they all wanted to keep this Hobbes for themselves. 

When i was sewing, I was reminded of how much fun sewing is.  Maybe I can find time to start doing that some more after this.

I painted the face with black and white acrylic paint.





Renewing our Thought Patterns

We become what we think about all day long.  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

How true is the above statement!    Our thought life is so very important in controlling how we feel and what we do each and every day.  

When I was a teenager, I suffered from depression for years. I won't go into the details on why, but thankfully that is in the past now (only because of the encouragement I found in God's Word), but on occasion, I find myself sinking back into that old mire again.

A week or two ago, I felt gloomy. Actually, gloomy is a rather mild term for how I was feeling.  All day long, it was as if there was a huge fog of depression over my head and I couldn't see through the fog to feel positive, no matter what I tried.

Throughout the day, thoughts would enter my mind- thoughts like, "Everything is going wrong and I don't have the ability to do the things I need to do.  Nothing is going right. I am overwhelmed. No one even cares!" Those words would continually play in my mind and would make me feel so discouraged.

I allowed it to continue.   As time went on, my miserable feelings seemed to get worse, and grew in volume as I started nursing the pain (self pity) and remembering things from the past that had ever hurt me that I had forgotten about until that point.   I ended up having experiencing a fearful anxiety that just wouldn't go away. 

The way I felt on the inside presented itself on the outside, and I could see the way it affected others in my family- it seemed like my negativity was a contagious disease that plagued everyone I came into contact with


At the time, I was able to convince myself that this pattern of thought was something that was happening to me, and that it was something I could not do anything about.  That was a lie.

Where did I first go wrong?  I went wrong when I allowed that first tiny negative thought to take root in my heart.   I should have plucked it up and prayed immediately, followed by battling those thoughts with Bible verses that would have reminded me of how blessed I really am - and about having a spirit of love and forgiveness instead of being bitter.  I should have counted my blessings.

I was being selfish, actually.  I was thinking only of myself, and feeling sorry for myself.   It is impossible to feel depressed when you are feeling grateful.    It not only affected me, but my whole household.

After being miserable for a long time, I cried out to God and tell Him how I was feeling.   I told Him how sad I was. I told Him that I didn't understand why I was feeling that way but that I was sorry for allowing a spirit of fear and depression to take over me.   I expressed to Him all of the things that had hurt me and why I was sad in the first place, and then gave those burdens to him.   I asked for His help to do better in the future.

The next day, I felt renewed and did not have that cloudy fog of emotions anymore.  I was amazed at how different I felt from the day before.  It seemed like I could see things so much more clearly now, and a burden was lifted.   I knew that God had forgiven me and that I could start things right again.   I saw so many blessings where the day before, I couldn't seem to find any!   

I saw a difference in my family as well.   Not only is negativity contagious, but so is positivity!   When your thoughts are on your blessings, what comes out of your mouth will reflect what is on the inside.  

I have failed in this area before, and I will most likely fail again, but what I have learned is that I should always be diligent about planting positive and pure thoughts and allowing those only to take root in my heart (one good way is through reading scripture and praying), and to be consistently pulling out all of those nasty weeds that seem to appear in the garden of my heart before they choke out the good.

Phillipians 4:8
"...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. 

Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove to be what is good and acceptable and perfect in the will of God. 

Michelle Duggar's Miscarriage

I'm sure most of you have heard about Michelle Duggar, (from TLC's 19 Kids and Counting), has experienced a miscarriage of her 20th baby...Jubilee Shalom Duggar.   Michelle was in her second trimester.

My heart goes out to her and her family for their loss.  

I  know God has a plan for their precious baby, Jubilee.  Her short life will reach the hearts and lives of thousands of people worldwide... and already has!   The Duggar family has the faith of God during this difficult and heartbreaking time and have used this as an opportunity to help encourage others to see what a blessing children are. 

No matter how many children you have, nothing makes it easier to deal with the loss of a child.  The only thing that can truly help heal the hurt is knowing that God has a purpose for every single life.  If not even a sparrow falls to the ground without Him knowing it, how much more a little baby? 

Just look at this beautiful video letter from Michelle to her daughter, Jubilee- you may need a tissue:

Jubilee Shalom Duggar 

I am thankful for the Duggar's example of showing how good God is in the midst of our greatest sufferings and losses.    Everything works out for the good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.  The Duggar family has the assurance that one day they will meet baby Jubilee in Heaven.    If you have lost a little one, you can be assured of this as well.    

If anyone out there has experienced a miscarriage or a stillbirth and is looking for comfort, encouragement, or answers, I recently wrote a book called, "Answers in a Time of Miscarriage", which you can find on Amazon.com or at this link: www.preciousinfants.com/miscarriage.htm

If you cannot afford a copy, I will send you a digital copy for free.  Just send me an email to mail (at) preciousinfants.com.  

Caleb's Essay about Ian

I found this while grading Caleb's schoolwork and thought it was sweet.  I wanted to post about it so I don't lose it. I'm sure one day Ian will get a kick out of it. 

Essay: Character Sketch

Ian

|Has two extremely different modes.
*******************************
..Happy Ian
*******************************
....Playing with a pencil and a paper.
.......Makes real good scribbles.
....Gooing
.......Says "Ah-GAAAH", and "Ooooh!".
..........ah-GAAAH might mean "Cool."
..........Oooooh means "Yada-yada. I'm bored"
....Asking for a bottle
.......He has different ways of saying it.
.........ba-BAAAH means "Can you find my bottle?"
.........mu-muh... means "I think i'm hungry!"
.........muuh-MEH means "I am hungry."
.........mu-MEH!! means "GIMME MILK!"
...........Also translated as "I WANT _____"
************************************
..Angry Ian
************************************
....Hitting stuff.
......Says "MEH!" when hits.
......Leads to In the bed.
........MEH! means MILK!!! or HUNGRY!!!!
....In the bed.
......Crying his head off.
....Delayed milk travel.
......Leads to Hitting stuff if not taken carefully.
......Or to bed.

Jennifer Blake Photography Family Portraits

I think my sister, Jennifer, is one of the most talented photographers there is out there. I am truly amazed and inspired every time I see her newest photography sessions. I know it takes a lot of work and effort, not only to take the pictures, but also to edit each picture after it is taken to make them look just right.  

I was so happy when Jennifer told me she would take photos of our family this year before she left the state (her husband is in the marines).    The pictures turned out incredible!    She took 419 pictures in all, but here are some of the best....


You can view more of Jennifer's photography at this link.  Please "like" her facebook page if you get a chance.

And you can also view more from this photo session at this link.


























Finished West Side Furniture Sign Restoration

Here was the last project that I finished in the last week-



Just like last time, getting up in the lift was kind of scary...not only was it high, but I had to maneuver it a lot to get it above the awnings to the right spot.   It took me about 10 minutes each time just trying to get the lift in the right place to begin painting.   

The weather was kind of cold but it wasn't as bad as the day before.   Before I got up close to the sign, I just assumed it would be a fairly easy project. But when I saw it up close, and realized how large and long it was, it really made me scared that I wouldn't be able to meet my deadline.....look how long it stretches!



I thought, "Should I just leave it be and not start this one? It's just too large of a project for me. I can't do this!"
But I remembered the building owners saying how excited they were about the sign being done, and I just decided to try anyway, so as not to let them down.

 I just decided to work on each small part at a time and not think of it as a whole.

 I trembled in fear a lot up there in the lift, because of the way it sways back and forth. I kept thinking, "I'm going to die....I just know I'm going to fall to my death."   I'm sure that was a bit of an overreaction, but remember: I'm new to this!!

Over time, however, I got used to being up there and it didn't seem quite as frightening. Except a couple of times when I almost gave myself a heart attack using the driving joystick instead of the lift joystick.

After about 3 hours of working, this was all I had done:





And I thought to myself, "OH NO, now I've really bitten off more than I can chew. If it took me that long to do those three letters, there is NO WAY I can get it done before Sunday.  No way on earth."

I kept praying that God would somehow give me the strength to get it all done in time.

He answered my prayers, because in the next two hours (after getting lunch and feeding the baby), this is how far I had gotten:



Now I had hope that it could be done!  And I felt motivated the rest of the day...and I worked until it was dark.  Then I was absolutely exhausted- not to mention homesick.  This was the longest time that I've been apart from my kids and I was really feeling it.   I missed them so terribly.   I felt so emotional and cried when I got home.   I couldn't wait for it to all be over.  I love painting but am not used to being at it for so many days in a row, away from the kids- and my husband.   Many times, I have taken my kids with me when I'm painting, so this was just new for me.   I couldn't wait to be home on a regular schedule again!

The next day, after getting some rest, I felt energized again and worked really hard. The building owners had asked me to change the word "mart" at the end, to "est. 1914", so on a grid paper I drew out the words and used the grid to transfer it to the wall.  I was worried it wouldn't work or look good, but it ended up working out well!  I was so pleased.  I was done before 2:00 PM!

Here is the building when I finished it:


As soon as I finished, the man who owns the building asked me if I would like to paint the trim on the windows.

Since the lift would only be there till Sunday, I told him I would need to start right away...so his wife left to get the stain for the building, and I got started around 3:30 PM.   I finished the first coat on the trim above and below the windows by 5:00 PM, and this morning at 6:00 AM I started the second coat and was finished by 7:30! 

So I'm finally done with all of the painting projects for this year!  Hurray!

Steele Furniture Sign Part 2

 Wednesday morning, bright and early, I got up and took Annah to the babysitter in town, and went to the Steele Furniture sign to get started.   As terrified as I was of getting up that high, I knew that I had already promised to do this...and I kept reminding myself that courage is being afraid to do something but doing it anyway.   I want my kids to see my example and see that I don't let fear make me quit something that I am planning to do (even though I was tempted to quit many times before I started).  Besides, if I am going to eventually do larger murals, I have to get over my fear sometime!    (Before this week, I didn't even know I had a fear of heights!) I started near the top so I could go down as I worked, not up!

Here's a video of the lift, so you can see what I was afraid of:


It was pretty cold Wednesday, and very windy...but I was wearing coveralls and had hand warmers in my pockets, and that helped a lot!    I had told James the day before that the only reason I was able to get the Cullman Banana supply mural done so soon was because I had given myself a deadline of 2 days, and somehow that is what I ended up doing- deadlines get me moving fast!  So he gave me a deadline for this one: 4 hours for each side.  He told me he knew I could do it.

To my own surprise, I ended up getting it done in 6 hours...three hours per side!   I was really shocked that it was done so quickly, because the task seemed so daunting at first.   I thought it would take about 2 days at least.

Here is a picture of the sign before I began:

 

And here is one side when I had it finished:


And the other side....

Steele Furniture Sign

James drove the bucket lift to the next location today, and I got up on it for a little bit to feel it out and see what I was up against.  The Steele Furniture sign seems so small from far away! I thought it would be much easier than I realized it was going to be once I got up there and saw it close up.



It wasn't really the size of the sign that bothered me so much, but the height of it.  It is really, really high, and I have to extend the bucket lift way up in the air, almost as far as it can go.   For my husband, who tried it first, it wasn't much...he's used to doing stuff like that, having worked at the Cable company for years and being in lifts multiple times over the years. But for me, completely new to this...it was very scary up there in the air, shaking back and forth with the wind!  It was steady enough at first, but it got really windy all at once while I was up there, and shook the basket pretty hard - scared the living daylights out of me. lol   I will just have to get used to the shaking.  Hopefully tomorrow won't be as windy as it was today!

This was my view from the basket...


As you can see, I'm going to have to work around some messy, broken lights.  They are going to be a pain to work with, but hopefully it won't be too much trouble. 



Here's another closeup.


And here is what the sign looks like from the sidewalk.  Seems so much smaller from there.  


I'll be sure to post progress once I've started! 

Finished Cullman Banana Supply and White Tulip Flour Mural Project

I really enjoyed working on this restoration project this week!   I have never operated a bucket lift before, but once I figured out the controls, it wasn't so hard at all.   

The weather was beautiful Saturday...just a little bit chilly.  It actually turned out to be a really busy weekend to be doing my painting- It took me about 20 minutes circling the block before I could actually get in, because they were having a Christmas event in town and the mural was on a road where there were lots of people, and there were police directing the traffic.     There were Santa Clauses everywhere driving people around in horse drawn buggies, and people walking around drinking apple cider- it smelled delicious.  If I had known about this prior to scheduling the week James took off work, we probably would have chosen a different week to do it! 

Once I got in, though, I was able to get a lot of painting done.   I had to go back for the baby every couple of hours, but I managed to get halfway done with the mural in the first day!



I didn't go back Sunday because we were going to have family pictures done after church, but I got back to work Monday morning.    Thankfully, the weekend traffic was over and it was much easier getting in and out. I worked until it got dark, trying to get it finished- I knew it was going to rain the next day, and I was hoping that I could just finish the last little part. However, it got dark before I could finish. 






The next morning, I drove with the babysitter to town, while it was already raining.  My thought was that maybe the rain would go away and I could get that last little bit finished.  I was determined to get it done!   Unfortunately, it kept raining  and raining.  Reluctantly, I went back home around 10:30.   At about 2:00, though, I noticed it wasn't raining and thought that maybe if I hurried, I could get there with enough time to paint that last little part.  So I asked Bonnie if she would help me watch the baby in the truck while I painted some more.  She sat in there and took care of the baby, and I finished in about 1 1/2 hours!  

As I was almost finished, I noticed it was sprinkling rain....I prayed, "Please God, let the rain hold off till I get finished!  Please just let the rain hold off until I am finished and am able to put away the rest of the paints!"   He answered my prayer!   I finished the mural, put away the paints, took a picture of the mural...then got back in the truck, and almost immediately, the rain started pouring!      

It did not harm the mural, in case anyone wonders! 



I'm so happy to have done this in less than 3 days!  If it wasn't raining today, I'd be out working again, but I might have to wait till tomorrow to get started on the next project (I'll be restoring another old sign in town).  I might change my mind later and just work on it during a dry spot. lol  I have three projects in total that I am hoping to get completed this week.     One down, two to go!

Here is a picture of the one I'm working on next:

Above picture from this link.